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Question
Posted by: Holly | 2010-04-16

Weekends are a nightmare for me

Hello.. I''m at my wits end. Tonight is just like all the other Fridays I''ve had to put with over the past 7 years. I''ve been married for 5 years (dating for 2) to a man that I''m not sure even loves me anymore. He used to go out every weekend and happy hour, not even ask me if I wanted to go with or if I wanted him to stay. After a couple of years (about one year into our marriage) he started asking me more often if I wanted to go with. But that was still seldom. All the friends I had back stabbed me or ditched me and I never quite made new ones (Im a very shy person and Im not really like other people). I haven''t been out since about mid last year and everytime we argue about how he never asks me if I want to go out, how he choses his friends and family over me, how he never helps around the house, etc he always turns around and tells me to get a life, that he hates me, that I must leave him alone (as well as plenty, harsher things). It''s like he wants to fight with me to give him ammo and reason to go out. But then after he''s over himself he''s all apologetic for a day then things go back to normal but then on a Friday it''s back to me sitting alone at home. I can''t get him to care when it matters and he only gives a damn when it''s too late (Ie after Ive spent the night at home on a Friday night and he spent the night whoknows where with whoknows who doing whoknows what). I spend my weekends being miserable because I''m alone wasting the weekend away and I spend my week dreading the weekend. He told me tonight to do everyone a favour and kill myself and I''m actually considering it. I''ve been depressed since I was 16 (Never went on meds- shrink said I was to young and I don''t have the money to see someone) and I''m just unhappy with all aspects of my life.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

I'm wondering why you seem to feel it is entirely up to him to ask you whether you want to go out with him - can't you ask him, yourself, if you'd actually like to go ? And can't you develop other friends and activities ( clubs, charities, whatever ) so as to keep active in your own right, rathwer than siting alone all weekend like Cinderella ? Sounds like you may have depression or dysthymia which would add to the probl;ems you describe - and you could get assessment and treatment through your nearest major state hospital or clinic, or nearest medical school

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010-04-17

I'm wondering why you seem to feel it is entirely up to him to ask you whether you want to go out with him - can't you ask him, yourself, if you'd actually like to go ? And can't you develop other friends and activities ( clubs, charities, whatever ) so as to keep active in your own right, rathwer than siting alone all weekend like Cinderella ? Sounds like you may have depression or dysthymia which would add to the probl;ems you describe - and you could get assessment and treatment through your nearest major state hospital or clinic, or nearest medical school

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