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Question
Posted by: Marluc | 2011-08-11

We bring out the worst in each other

He''s probably the only guy that i have ever truly loved but he played me in the end.After really accepting that i was being played, i fell out of love and we officially broke up over a year ago after +/- 7 yrs together. Tried cutting ties completely but somehow would end up hanging out with him again.It''s like we cant live without each other, no matter how hard we try and we are still sleeping together.Last yr we had a physical fight where i bit him and he throttled me.We forgave each other and life continued as normal.I,however still get jealous when his phone rings and i tell him not to answer it and he also gets a bit jealous too when i receive calls from guys On monday,we hung out at my place as usual,but as he lay in bed napping, memories of all the hurt and pain he''d put me thru came flooding back.I had a sinister thought of just slicing off his p*nis but ignored it as i dont wanna do time in jail.I then started squeezing it and his balls really hard to inflict pain on him but he didnt feel a thing,after minutes of my doin that he awoke to tell me that it''s getting late and he gotta leave. I hit him hard on his fore-arm which left a bruise, he tried to make the bruisin disappear and was working really hard at him that i just lost it and hit me again, all over his torso, askin who is it that he is tryin to hide the bruise from? I felt so used, he hit me back and we had yet another physical fight. I have been feelin really bad ever since and want to apologise, but im not sure if he deserves my apology cos he hit me back.This is really eating away at me and icry myself to sleep over it.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Surely its not that you "can't live without each other" - neither would literally die if you were separated - but that being together has become a bad habit, like an uncomfortable pair of shows that hurt your feet, but which you usually insist on wearing to church.
And if he really was not awoken by hard squeezing of his testicles, he either has peculiarly insensitive genitals, or was in a deep drugged sleep ? Thats a method some doctors would use to try to arouse a comatose patient in casualty !
Anyhow you are apparently unhappy and physically abusive to each other, and there is really no good point to this relationship. You both may bneed counselling to help you give up these bad habits, including the habit of hanging out together.
Why on earth would either of you voluntarily spend any time together ? Do you really believe there is no other possible friend to be with ?
Leave each other alone, move on, and get therapeutic help, not only to stop this unwholesome pairin, but to learn to lose these bad habits, so as not to repeat this ugly pattern in any future relationships.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Me | 2011-08-15

Darling.. you need to get out.. now! If you have already admitted that you bring out the worse in one another, you know what you have to do. Why stay with someone who makes you turn into someone you''re not and who makes you miserable? The two of you are each other''s worst habbit!
I have been in a situation where I really loved someone and we were extremely compatible in the bedroom - but emotionally not on the same level. I wanted to deal with problems and he would push me away by ignoring me or hooking up with someone else. Eventually I realised I had to cut all ties with him or I would never heal. You need to do the same - delete his number, don''t take his calls etc. And DON" T be the booty call either!
Sex is not everything and if you give someone a chance you will find a wonderful man out there.

Reply to Me
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011-08-13

Surely its not that you "can't live without each other" - neither would literally die if you were separated - but that being together has become a bad habit, like an uncomfortable pair of shows that hurt your feet, but which you usually insist on wearing to church.
And if he really was not awoken by hard squeezing of his testicles, he either has peculiarly insensitive genitals, or was in a deep drugged sleep ? Thats a method some doctors would use to try to arouse a comatose patient in casualty !
Anyhow you are apparently unhappy and physically abusive to each other, and there is really no good point to this relationship. You both may bneed counselling to help you give up these bad habits, including the habit of hanging out together.
Why on earth would either of you voluntarily spend any time together ? Do you really believe there is no other possible friend to be with ?
Leave each other alone, move on, and get therapeutic help, not only to stop this unwholesome pairin, but to learn to lose these bad habits, so as not to repeat this ugly pattern in any future relationships.

Reply to cybershrink
Posted by: BP2 | 2011-08-11

You are not mature enough to even contemplate being in a sexual relationship. You need to see a therapist and leave this guy alone.

Reply to BP2
Posted by: Maria | 2011-08-11

I''ve read your message three times and I still can''t figure out why you are still spending time together. Break it off, and move on. There is nothing positive about this relationship and you owe it to yourself to get out completely this time. Maybe also go for some anger management classes...

Reply to Maria

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