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Question
Posted by: Anon | 2012/03/09

Was I wrong??

I''ve been with my partner for just over 22 months, over this time there have been numerous times when we''''ve had arguments and he would disappear, give me the silent treatment, say nasty things to break me down then come back and apologise. During these times, I would beg him to talk to me and eventually he''d do so. Last year I finally couldn''t take it anymore, we argued, I got angry and said nasty things back. We had no contact for 3 months, he then came back saying he''s realised how wrong he was and that he wants a life with me. He tried since December to handle disagreements like a mature person. And then 2 weeks ago, I invited his female friend that moved into his house after her break up to dinner. I did this out of the goodness of my heart because she was going to be home alone. When at 7.30 she hadn''t arrived, I texted him to find out where she was. She had decided to stay home and never said anything to me. My response to him :" Ok, thanks for letting me know. I had already made dinner"  He then attacked me saying I have issues with everything and everyone and then started a bbm war. I got angry and defending myself. Since then, I tried calling him. He refused to answer his phone. The last I heard from him was an eamil earlier this week asking me to put all his stuff together that he left in my house and let him know when he can collect it. I haven''t responded. I feel like there''s something going on that I''m missing. Why is he so pissed off with me over some one else? Oh and he owes me money which he hasn''t paid back since last year.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Someone who habitually runs away from problems, disappears and sulks, is not a good prospective partner, as they lack the necessary skills to sort out the problems life will inevitably throw at us.
At the very least he needs counselling to learn hopw to do what he is obviously currently incapable of doing. This "friend" who lives in his house sounds deeply suspicious. And he owes you money ? DOn't be so naive.
Pack together all his possessions, and send him a message that he can collect it WHEN he repays all the money he owes you. And change the locks on your doors, so you can control access to your home.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

3
Our users say:
Posted by: Obvious | 2012/03/09

Please have some self respect......l think you know what the status is of his friend staying at his house is dont you. You are prelonging the drama. Return his things, write off the money and move on with your life.
Do not repeat the same mistake again by dating this personality type.

Reply to Obvious
Posted by: umm.... | 2012/03/09

been in a VERY similar situation (not saying its the same) but he is with that " friend"  of his...if he really cared he would have the decency to talk to you to your face...
pack his things but them outside the front door, tell him so, walk away and never look back!

Reply to umm....
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012/03/09

Someone who habitually runs away from problems, disappears and sulks, is not a good prospective partner, as they lack the necessary skills to sort out the problems life will inevitably throw at us.
At the very least he needs counselling to learn hopw to do what he is obviously currently incapable of doing. This "friend" who lives in his house sounds deeply suspicious. And he owes you money ? DOn't be so naive.
Pack together all his possessions, and send him a message that he can collect it WHEN he repays all the money he owes you. And change the locks on your doors, so you can control access to your home.

Reply to cybershrink

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