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Question
Posted by: Anna-Marie | 2009/11/23

was i wrong?

i had filed for divorce and had also moved out of our marital home all because of his cheating ways and his verbal abuse. he continued cheating but, that was none of my business coz the only thing that was standing between us was the court date to go and end our matrimony. i also moved on with my life and started dating this wonderful, loving, caring guy. to cut the story short...okey we never got divorced because we felt there was still something and decided to give it another try. we moved in back together but never went for counselling because he doesn' t believe in it. oh he has betrayed me once again.... he is still seeing his mistress yet he lied and told me that they broke up, that really broke my heart because i ended my relationship with that guy, i denied everthing about our affair just to protect his self esteem. now he is insulting me calling me a whore because i had an affair during our separation. he still believes that i' m still seeing that guy but, i' m not, we' re just friends now who only talk over the phone.

was i wrong by pre-maturily dating before our divorce was finalised? maybe i shouldnt have gone back to him.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

I wonder whether it is EVER worth trying again in a relatonship, with a man who "doesn't believe in counselling". Because that generally means a man who doesn't believe any emotional issue that might be troubling you is valid or significant.
Why worry about his self-esteem when he obviously places no value on yours ? You sensibly recognize that it was a mistake to have gone back to him - why are you still wih him and not consulting a good lawyer ?

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2
Our users say:
Posted by: Anon | 2009/11/23

I agree .... get a good lawyer and move on with your life. Personally i dont think he will ever stop cheating on you. You deserve better.

Reply to Anon
Posted by: cybershrink | 2009/11/23

I wonder whether it is EVER worth trying again in a relatonship, with a man who "doesn't believe in counselling". Because that generally means a man who doesn't believe any emotional issue that might be troubling you is valid or significant.
Why worry about his self-esteem when he obviously places no value on yours ? You sensibly recognize that it was a mistake to have gone back to him - why are you still wih him and not consulting a good lawyer ?

Reply to cybershrink

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