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Question
Posted by: Kelly | 2011/02/14

Want to leave my job but feel obliged to stay.

Hi, I am looking for new work because I feel that my time has run its course at my current job. I have been here for six years (first two part time, rest permanent) and it’ s just gotten worse and worse over the years. My bosses wife creates such a terrible environment, nothing is good enough for her and she is just a b#tch at times. They have hired three new staff members this year and I got a lame increase (like R600). Every time I ask if I can do more things (start learning new things) I get told no. I’ m getting told that “ I won’ t be doing this forever”  and “ we’ ve got plans for you”  but I’ ve been doing the same thing for four years! One thing that really got me is that one of the other staff members really screwed something up and I had to take so much time out of MY work to try help fix it! Not only that, the more I said “ I didn’ t do it”  the more angry that particular staff member got at me. I told my boss I DIDN’ T DO IT and he listened, but he kept telling the other lady “ you and Kelly need to fix this/ sort this out/etc” . I mean really. And in all honesty, I don’ t even like the field that I’ m working in! I have my dreams but I don’ t earn enough to realize them. My boss doesn’ t have time for me anymore (maybe he feels I’ m competent enough and he doesn’ t have to supervise me like the others) and I feel they are taking advantage of me because I am young and the employee that’ s been there for the longest. I am not privy to certain information but when he needs a number or something off his computer and he’ s not at the office, I’ m the one he phones (not even his wife). I think they emotionally blackmailed me by telling me all these years that “ I am like the daughter they never had/ you are our adopted daughter/etc” . I’ ll feel so bad for leaving but I can’ t stay here any more- everyday is a drag, I’ m tired and I don’ t want to do this anymore. I mean I don’ t even have a contact! I saw they prepared it last year but never gave it to us to sign. I’ m not confused... I suppose I just want to hear that I’ m doing the right thing by leaving.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

If they can't tell you what good plans they have for you, they have none.
OK, maybe they felt you were essential to fixing what the other person messed up, because they know you're capable of doing that well. Maybe they are indeed focussing more on the new employees knowing they can rely on you to do your job. But there's no sound of progression, of ways in which you can learn new skills and grow.
Daughters, bio or adopted, get treated better than this, and with a view to their own best long-term interests.
Sounds reasonable to want to leave -but maybe also have a word with a labour lawyer - I'm sure they are in breach of regulations in not having a formal contract, and you may need help to be sure you are properly treated when you leave

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Kelly | 2011/02/14

To Anon Guy- you can mail me at flakey1 (at) live (dot) co (dot) za

To Realist- you are spot on! They DID buy a new car last year! And they DID renovate their house a bit!

To everyone else- thanks for making me feel better. :)

Reply to Kelly
Posted by: Realist | 2011/02/14

Oh boy ! These close family businesses are generally a nightmare. They get someone like you who is clearly on top of their job, honest, reliable and hardworking and the more you do the more they take advantage of you. Promises promises promises, " you are like my daughter'' " you are family"  " we will see you right"  just now cash flow is a bit tight"  (just after they have each bought a new car and had an overseas holiday and built on to their house) an on and on and on.
You will NEVER benefit or get anywhere with them. If they don''t commit to a written agreement with specific financial rewards, just get out of there as soon as you can. They are users and you are a loser if you stay on there.

Reply to Realist
Posted by: Anon Guy | 2011/02/14

Thanks Kelly - how do i get a copy of CV - i will try to best to assist.

Reply to Anon Guy
Posted by: Kelly | 2011/02/14

To Anon Guy- I currently work in the accounts side of property management so Pastel Partner, dealing with problems, etc are my strong points. I did work in a shop for about a year so I’ m very much a peoples person. I don’ t have any qualifications, only experience. I’ m dying to get a more “ creative”  job.

Reply to Kelly
Posted by: Anon Guy | 2011/02/14

What field are you in / what experince do you have?

Reply to Anon Guy
Posted by: Casey | 2011/02/14

Maybe it''s time for you to move on to another job that you will enjoy more. Sounds like these guys are only using you.

Reply to Casey
Posted by: Liza | 2011/02/14

I agree that you have no reason to stay at your current job. They''re just manipulating you by telling you you''re like a daughter. The utter cheek. Find something new in your line of interest and then resign. If they haven''t offered you new opportunities by now, they never will.

Good luck with the job hunt.
Liza

Reply to Liza
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/02/14

If they can't tell you what good plans they have for you, they have none.
OK, maybe they felt you were essential to fixing what the other person messed up, because they know you're capable of doing that well. Maybe they are indeed focussing more on the new employees knowing they can rely on you to do your job. But there's no sound of progression, of ways in which you can learn new skills and grow.
Daughters, bio or adopted, get treated better than this, and with a view to their own best long-term interests.
Sounds reasonable to want to leave -but maybe also have a word with a labour lawyer - I'm sure they are in breach of regulations in not having a formal contract, and you may need help to be sure you are properly treated when you leave

Reply to cybershrink

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