Our expert says:
Please don't die. Never adopt such a permanent solution to a temporary problem. As for your "lost time" mystery, its probably due to the drug Zanax and the alcohol - they are well able to stop you remembering some of what happens while you are under their influence, as much then doesn't get into memory, so its not there to retrive later. Just like many people, having got awfully drunk the night before, don't remember what they got up to.
Isn't it possible to negotiate a solution to the difficulties you're experiencing in this current role ? And isn't it possible to arrange to go home, if you're so unhappy where you are ?
See a doctor, tell the folks you're with that you are feeling awfully bad and need to se a talk with a doc - then tell the doc exactly what happened, and take his advice.
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