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Question
Posted by: birdyk | 2010/04/01

want to die

i feel like life is a waist. Im looking for ways to die but cant find them. I dont have any one to talk to and it feels like on one care. I am 25 dont have a job no friends. I never go out and i am a ''love addict'' and lost my only hope i had. At night i cant sleep i dream a lot and most of the time i wake up at least 15 times a night. I cry for on reason and i an afraid of myself when i am alone but i dont want to be near people. I started to cut myself just to see blood and the pain remind me that im still human

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Hello b,
There are many things you urgently need to do about this, and none of them involve harming yourself. Call Lifeline ( number on this page )which will offer you promptly someone to talk to ; and arrange to see a shrink asap as an emergency -any good hospital casualty dept should be able to arrange this.
However much it feels that way, whichever person you loved and lost absolutely certainly was NOT your last chance of love - not by a very long way.
You are grieving and feling bad but this can and will pass - you need to see a shrink for assessment and advice, and a counsellor to help you work your way through this immediate situation. Keep looking for a new job, and consider geting involved with charities and other good works, to keep yourself busy ( with less empty time in which there's nothing to do except feel bad ) as well as recognizing that other people are in even worse situations, and coping, and also that they are wise enough to seek and accept help

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

5
Our users say:
Posted by: P | 2010/04/06

It seems to me the root of your feeling bad is that your brother is " everything" . No brother is better than the other and no good parents would love one child more than the other. You need to stop feeling like you are worth less than him. Also, if your parents don''t understand you, it''s time to turn to someone who does. Parents don''t always understand or sometimes they do but they prefer to pretend they don''t. I''ve noticed parents tend to be angry about flaws that their kids got from them. We all inherit flaws from our parents and we all get shouted at sometimes because our parents are too frustrated to see they haven''t changed themselves and their kids are the same. Still, I''m sure parents love us. It''s just their fear to see us unhappy that makes them angry and makes them try to change things in us they couldn''t change in themselves.

So.. you''re not worthless and if your parents don''t help, it''s probably because something (pride or whatever) doesn''t let them. It may seem to you that your brother gets away with things more easily because he probably has flaws that your parents DON''T notice. But he''s not perfect either. No one is. Don''t try to compare yourself with him or compete with him. Think about what is best for you and what you believe in, and just try to live according to that. You don''t have to make your parents happy. But by making yourself happy, you''ll certainly attract people who have the same beliefs/ principles/ interests as you. Don''t allow anyone to say you''re crazy. We are all crazy in our own ways. Just think of your goals in life and work to achieve them. Look for help among people who care, those who don''t care don''t deserve much attention either. Sometimes, when in pain, you don''t see anyone you could turn to, but there''s always someone there. And many, many people out there wish they''d find someone like you. Just think about that. And think about all those who are just in the same grieving situation or worse still. It''s sooooo many. This is a big world. You''ll never be alone in suffering. Look for people, give people a chance to help you overcome this. You need to open your arms for things to change.

Reply to P
Posted by: birdyk | 2010/04/04

i dont have a car and cant go and find a job. My dad dont want me to work. I have up every thing i liked doing. Just felt worthless doing it for myself. Im on the net most of the time. I have a temp job but work once a month or less. My boss is a prof and if notice that im in trouble. He want to talk to my mom but i dont want him to. As i have a brother and he is every thing. (in my eyes and thiers) i dont want to be the crazy one. The bad seed. If i tell them i feel depress they reply it must be hormones. If they see i cryed they tell me to grow up. If i dont want to talk they will shout at me and send me to my room. What im saying is. I dont have some one to talk to. I feel like a child maybe 12. And i dont want to die but i feel that its the only way. I have not done it yet in the hope that it gets better but its only getting worse.

Reply to birdyk
Posted by: cpt_guy | 2010/04/03

please just hang in there and try to find an activity everyday that brings you some joy, or research something that you''re interested in...i also lost what i thought was my one and only shot at love and got retrenched last year, i''ve been where you are and though i still have those feelings, im making a concious effort everyday to keep my mind active and just keep on pushing through...please reach out to people and tell your story because it helps to talk about it and also, you''d be surprised how many people are going through similar experiences and wanna hear from you...you are not alone in this!

Reply to cpt_guy
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/04/03

Hello b,
There are many things you urgently need to do about this, and none of them involve harming yourself. Call Lifeline ( number on this page )which will offer you promptly someone to talk to ; and arrange to see a shrink asap as an emergency -any good hospital casualty dept should be able to arrange this.
However much it feels that way, whichever person you loved and lost absolutely certainly was NOT your last chance of love - not by a very long way.
You are grieving and feling bad but this can and will pass - you need to see a shrink for assessment and advice, and a counsellor to help you work your way through this immediate situation. Keep looking for a new job, and consider geting involved with charities and other good works, to keep yourself busy ( with less empty time in which there's nothing to do except feel bad ) as well as recognizing that other people are in even worse situations, and coping, and also that they are wise enough to seek and accept help

Reply to cybershrink
Posted by: Patricia | 2010/04/02

I''m feeling just like you. But you know what? I think your main problem is that you''ve got no job. You should keep yourself busy for a certain amount of time each day. I have a job and I notice when I don''t have to work, I feel down. It''s like an emptiness takes over me. I''m even in a ralationship and I go out occasionally but I need work too. I need to feel pressure from various sides (my employer, boyfriend, friends, family) to feel that I''m still needed somewhere.. Right now, I''m alone and I feel emptiness all around me. You should go out more and look for a job. Make connections. And maybe life doens''t make sense anyway, but it could be beautiful.

Reply to Patricia

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