Our expert says:
I'm sure you are indeed finding it difficult to cope right now ; adult autism is uncommon, and there could be dozens of possible reasons for the problems you face, all of them could be improved or even cleared up with proper treatment.
You're assuming that there is nothing you can do about this, but you don't seem to have done much, with respect, that could help. So far.
Don't assume any particular diagnosis or explanation is operating here until you have seen a good local shrink for a full assessment and a discussion of diagnosis and treatment options.
Actually, many people find it doesn't come naturally to them to immediately feel comfortable with other people and to handle social situations. But this isn't insoluble. Working with a counsellor / therapist working with modern methods such as CBT ( Cognitive-Behaviour Therapy ) can help enormously to improve self-esteem and self-confidence, social skills, etc.
And there might be a significant degree of Depression, too - and CBT is proved by good research to be able to relieve depresson very effectively, just as some medications can help it. Its also good for learning how to "turn off" bothersome and fruitless circuitous thoughts and negative ruminations.
You seem to have made a number of highl negative assumptions - that there is a structural, organic, permanent error in your make-up ( unlikely ) which cannot possibly be changed or improved ( very highly unlikely ) ; and that antidepressants wont work ( they usually do, and they arent the only option ).
If there is ( unlikely ) an organic component to your problems, remember that while psychologist-shrinks are good at talking therapies of the sort you may want, psychiatrist-shrinks are also medically qualified, and can assess organic, physical components of one's problems.
I understand that you may be concerned about privacy, but actually these days surprisingl many people see shrinks, and less and less people are stupid enough to think anything less of those who do.
If you can't afford to see a shrink privately, consider seeing someone at a major state hospital or clinic, or at the Psych department of your nearest medical school - there would be medical students involved at the latter, but they are very helpful and are required to be as respectful of confidentiality as the doctors.
Also, while you should continue to look for a job, you don't have to remain unoccupied, which manifies the boredom and leaves you with far too much time in which to just feel awful.
Why not volunteer to work with some charities and NGO's ? If you can't face too many people just yet, what about some of the many excellent animal charities, where you can help creatures more helpless than you, and who are gnerous with giving you unconditional love in return ?
The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal
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