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Question
Posted by: Jolla | 2009-01-16

Walking on eggs

I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 10 years, never married cause i don' t want to, we have 2 kids. I cannot stand to be around him anymore as he really domineers me. I have been brought up to be independant and look after myself. I very seldom ask him for anything, but if he hears i have money, boy does he fight me for it. He does alot of site work and i just cannot wait for him to go away, the kids feel the same. When he is at home he has terrible mood swings especially on a Saturday, i cannot figure out why.

I go to my mom' s when he gets all moody and we fight because he does not like the idea of me spending time with my parents. he is always calling my family rubbish, but forgets that if it was not for my father he would not be working at all.

He emotionally abuses me, and i feel like i have become dumb. I studied as a fashion designer and i would really like to get back into the clothing industry, but he always has some sort of comment that makes me dispondent. I feel like a pupet, my kids and i have to walk on eggs when he is around and i am sick of it, but i feel like i have no will power to stand up for myself. I don' t want to end up like my mom, history repeating.

Can you recommend some wellness clinics on the East Rand.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Presumably he's been domineering all along, rather than just recently ? How did you acept it earlier in the relationship ? Why have you chosen to remain with him ? POWA and similar groups can advise you on dealing with the situation as an abused woman. Why do you allow his ignorant discouragement stop you from doing what you want as regards work ? There's no reason to acept abuse.
I don't have a record of available "wellness clinics" and I'm not sure what they are, compared with ordinary competent clinics

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