advertisement
Question
Posted by: Miliano | 2012/10/09

wait for girl to breakup

hi , i met this amazing girl and we get along incredibly well, but she has a bf for the past 4yrs, and according to her, its hell and back...she has tried everything and he doesnt change and they constantly fight. how do i deal with this? my thoughts she should end the relationship before we can start something.

Not what you were looking for? Try searching again, or ask your own question
Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Well, when you met her, however nice she was, you knew she has a bf, even if an unsatisfactory one, so you could have expected problems ahead. And remember, men and women, sometimes complain about their spouse or bf/gf even if none of their complaints are real, to excuse geting into an affair with someone else. Sometimes they get involved with you deliberately in order to make the other partner jealous.
You are absolutely right, that she needs to end that relationship ( if she wants to ) and needs to fully get over it, before she'll be emotionally free to have any genuine relationship with anyone else, including you. And that takes time and work on her side, and isn't done within days or weeks of ending the other relationship.
Its sensible for you to recognize this and to make it clear to her - but its up to her either to choose to stay with her bf, maybe se a cpuples counsellor, and work on getting things right ; or to leave him, and finish the emotional tidying up to thoroughly get over him, before thinking of a relationship with anyone else. And you can't do that for her ; the decisions and the work have to be done by her.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

2
Our users say:
Posted by: Miliano | 2012/10/09

thank you that is perfect and just what i wanted to hear!!! god bless!

Reply to Miliano
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012/10/09

Well, when you met her, however nice she was, you knew she has a bf, even if an unsatisfactory one, so you could have expected problems ahead. And remember, men and women, sometimes complain about their spouse or bf/gf even if none of their complaints are real, to excuse geting into an affair with someone else. Sometimes they get involved with you deliberately in order to make the other partner jealous.
You are absolutely right, that she needs to end that relationship ( if she wants to ) and needs to fully get over it, before she'll be emotionally free to have any genuine relationship with anyone else, including you. And that takes time and work on her side, and isn't done within days or weeks of ending the other relationship.
Its sensible for you to recognize this and to make it clear to her - but its up to her either to choose to stay with her bf, maybe se a cpuples counsellor, and work on getting things right ; or to leave him, and finish the emotional tidying up to thoroughly get over him, before thinking of a relationship with anyone else. And you can't do that for her ; the decisions and the work have to be done by her.

Reply to cybershrink

Have your say

Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
advertisement