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Question
Posted by: Angry | 2012/03/01

Vultures on Health24

I just want to vent about all the sick people who specifically go onto this site to judge others and post nasty comments about them when they are already troubled and going through their own private hell. What makes you people so special that you get to sit back and judge whilst thriving on other people''s trauma? There is only one judge and that is God, he sees everything YOU do as well so don''t think that you are automatically guaranteed a place in Heaven because you never " made a wrong choice"  or endured emotional pain - well lucky you.
Well, good luck trying to get into the pearly gates - at least I know God has forgiven me and I am honest about who I am and what I''ve done.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

I understand what's bothering you, and it isn't really about judging as such. Some people are doing awful things, or behaving in ways in which the consequences they complain about are inevitable. Some don't even really deserve sympathy for the plight they describe. But pretty well all deserve respect and politeness, rather than the active cruelty we sometimes see.
I think these days the claim that there must be a taboo against ever judging anyone else is highly damaging to society ; it assumes that anything goes, and that people should never be criticized, whatever they do and however they behave. That should not be so - some forms of behaviour are so cruel, so damaging to others that they should be condemned by any sensible person.
Even you, in complaining about people who judge others, are judging those who judge !
Occasionally we get messages from people who seem almost proud of their wrong-doing, to almost want praise or at least acceptance of the way in which they are hurting or damaging others. They don't deserve to get what they are looking for - I do "judge" and condemn child molesters, serial killers, and lesser monsters.
Nobody should be ( and I cant recall any time when it happened ) condemned for suffering emotional pain, which deserves some respect, often deserving a great deal of respect.
But having a hurtful affair with a married person, treating someone else cruelly, and so on, are NOT merely "wrong choices", like picking up low-fat milk at the supermarket when you meant to get full-cream.
The cry "Don't judge me - or anyone", the denial that anyone else has any right to judge the wrongness or hurtfulness of the choices you freelly make, is a demand for a society in which anything goes, in which anyone can do as they please, regardless of the consequences for others.
We are getting too close to that situation already in some ways, and are entitled to refuse the invitation.
We are also entitled to consider the trauma inflicted by some people who complain only of their own "trauma" ( a word that is abused and used too often for lesser discomfort ).
It is also important to realize that the sort of responses some messages attract here, are representative of what many other people in the individual's life are secretly saying or thinking about them - they reveal and remind of how many in society view some situations, viewpoints which some perpetrators prefer to ignore or don't even think of.
But I share your distaste for people who post responses that are nothing but unkind and aggressive, with no attempt to be helpful.

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6
Our users say:
Posted by: Obvious | 2012/03/01

CS penultimate sentence sums up my postings.

Reply to Obvious
Posted by: Zimbabwe | 2012/03/01

Mary on post 583 is a vulture who does not have a life. She or He spends most of her/his life on cybershrink if her life is as perfect as she claims why is she on cyber

Reply to Zimbabwe
Posted by: angry | 2012/03/01

yes, doc I see where you are coming from, I was not talking about the people who have caused harm against others being judged, I was talking about those who only use the site to be hurtful to others who are in emotional pain and genuinely need support and understanding - not criminals

Reply to angry
Posted by: Tina | 2012/03/01

I agree with you guys, I have posted here before about my mistakes and shortcomings. YES, I have been so wrong and messed up and I came here fo rhelp from CS - and others jumoed on and aired their views, which was so painfully disappointing and not helpful at all. These sites were made for people who need help and who are in bad situations. Coming on here alone proves you seeking help or some help or rather just some direction when you reach that place that the mind is all boggled. So my best advice is, when you post here the opinion of CS is most valued, however good or bad. Yes people always love to judge, those people should just be ignored, as I assure you if the come on here to read about other peoples life, they are here not to help, but rather very disturbed people as well who choose this as a platform to vent what is eating them up.

Reply to Tina
Posted by: Disgusted | 2012/03/01

Yes, agree totally!
Have you seen " Mary"  on post 583? Say no more...

Reply to Disgusted
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012/03/01

I understand what's bothering you, and it isn't really about judging as such. Some people are doing awful things, or behaving in ways in which the consequences they complain about are inevitable. Some don't even really deserve sympathy for the plight they describe. But pretty well all deserve respect and politeness, rather than the active cruelty we sometimes see.
I think these days the claim that there must be a taboo against ever judging anyone else is highly damaging to society ; it assumes that anything goes, and that people should never be criticized, whatever they do and however they behave. That should not be so - some forms of behaviour are so cruel, so damaging to others that they should be condemned by any sensible person.
Even you, in complaining about people who judge others, are judging those who judge !
Occasionally we get messages from people who seem almost proud of their wrong-doing, to almost want praise or at least acceptance of the way in which they are hurting or damaging others. They don't deserve to get what they are looking for - I do "judge" and condemn child molesters, serial killers, and lesser monsters.
Nobody should be ( and I cant recall any time when it happened ) condemned for suffering emotional pain, which deserves some respect, often deserving a great deal of respect.
But having a hurtful affair with a married person, treating someone else cruelly, and so on, are NOT merely "wrong choices", like picking up low-fat milk at the supermarket when you meant to get full-cream.
The cry "Don't judge me - or anyone", the denial that anyone else has any right to judge the wrongness or hurtfulness of the choices you freelly make, is a demand for a society in which anything goes, in which anyone can do as they please, regardless of the consequences for others.
We are getting too close to that situation already in some ways, and are entitled to refuse the invitation.
We are also entitled to consider the trauma inflicted by some people who complain only of their own "trauma" ( a word that is abused and used too often for lesser discomfort ).
It is also important to realize that the sort of responses some messages attract here, are representative of what many other people in the individual's life are secretly saying or thinking about them - they reveal and remind of how many in society view some situations, viewpoints which some perpetrators prefer to ignore or don't even think of.
But I share your distaste for people who post responses that are nothing but unkind and aggressive, with no attempt to be helpful.

Reply to cybershrink

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