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Question
Posted by: Nikki | 2012/05/29

Voyeurism - Depression ???

An acquaintance some time ago admitted to me that he was a voyeur in his younger years. He suffers from depression and is also a very lonely person, choosing not to have relationships, shutting himself off from people for days on end, not answering emails, text messages, calls etc. I was a bit shocked when he told me of his " pastime"  and how and when he did it. I have so many questions to ask him, but don''t know how to broach the subject. I know why he did it, he told me that too. Could his depression and his voyeurism be connected in any way? He also had a violent upbringing (abusive, drunken father) and a very conservative mother, who told him untruths about girls and sex. Could that have something to do with his (then) obsession of peeping at girls? I don''t hold his past against him, I am not a judgmental person, but would like to try and understand why someone would indulge in such behaviour.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Its interesting that he should have chosen to tell you about this at all ( why would he need to do so ? ) and why NOW ? It sounds, sadly, more as though there may have ben a lifelong pattern of feeling desperately lonely, excluded, on the outside, and looking in, to life and its contents. That could be a depressing situation, rather than depression as such causing voyeurism or vice versa.
Being subject to the violence of a drunken father ( also depressing, surely ) and misled and misinformed about sex, could understandably spur a sense of curiosity, and the view that one might only find out what it was all about by seeing for himself. Without feeling confident enough to be a participant rather than just an observer. He may well no have meant it to be in any way disturbing or damaging to those peeped on - which is a contrast to the exhibitionist who usually requires the shock and alarm of the targetted person to provide his pleasures.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Nikki | 2012/05/29

Thanks CS, for your input!

Reply to Nikki
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012/05/29

Its interesting that he should have chosen to tell you about this at all ( why would he need to do so ? ) and why NOW ? It sounds, sadly, more as though there may have ben a lifelong pattern of feeling desperately lonely, excluded, on the outside, and looking in, to life and its contents. That could be a depressing situation, rather than depression as such causing voyeurism or vice versa.
Being subject to the violence of a drunken father ( also depressing, surely ) and misled and misinformed about sex, could understandably spur a sense of curiosity, and the view that one might only find out what it was all about by seeing for himself. Without feeling confident enough to be a participant rather than just an observer. He may well no have meant it to be in any way disturbing or damaging to those peeped on - which is a contrast to the exhibitionist who usually requires the shock and alarm of the targetted person to provide his pleasures.

Reply to cybershrink

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