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Posted by: Lolly | 2012/05/07

very angry

I am very angry, at the world, at my life, at everyone, at everything. I have nothing to show for my 40 years on earth. Except broken relationships, and a divorce. I feel very numb towards any happy feelings, and escpecially any idea towards love - I hate happy ads or movies, people who are happy, families with children. I want to scream at the string of useless horrible using men who entered and left my life - I wish I had never met you, I wish I had never believed you, and wish with all my heart I did not meet the last one, who kept stringing me along for 3 years, lying, breaking promises, breaking my hart over and over again.
I do not believe love is meant for me
I do not trust men, they are just there to hurt
I am very angry at everything, all I wanted as a little girl, just like most of you who read this, dreaming of a pretty life, safe, filled with cupcakes and giggles and warm snuggles with your kids on Sundays. Not alone every night, not crying because another one took a piece of your soul. and don''t tell me ''I let them do it, I gave them the power''. you know nothing of my life. you don''t know how it all started, progressed and ended up here, beaten by life
I am very angry
and in the words of Pandora''s Box:
the sharks, the geeks, and the sadists, the latter category which I had specifically stated I didn''t want, the ones who wanted endless dirty talk the ones who wanted to be punished, the ones who could only boast about the bank- rolls and/or their equipment, the ones and they were many who said: " my name is so and so, how far do you go" , the 300 pound lady judge who screamed abuse at me, the transvestite who wanted me to support him, the numerous young studs who had nothing to offer besides the negative result of their goddamn blood tests, the diminutive actor and all the other short ones, the astronomer who cried like a baby and said he''d been betrayed by every star he ever knew, the fanatic priest who wanted me to confess to things I''d never even dreamed of, the worn out soldiers, the burned out poets,the pumped up jocks and the used up kids, the racists, including the one at whose place I left my white sweater and I''d rather cut off my right thumb go back for it... the drunks, junkies crack and cokeheads, the multitude of liars and especially the nice ones who never called back!

To all of you I say: JUST FORGET MY PHONE NUMBER. I DON''T NEED ALL THE HASSLES.

now... I feel better

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Well vented !
Everyone makes mistakes ; neurosis lies in repeatting the same mistakes without bothering to learn from them. At least try to make NEW mistakes !
Counselling could he,p you to understand how you have made repeated bad decisions and accepted into your life a series of bad and unworthy men. ALL men are not like that. I hear the line you objedt to, but it is a truth important to face, that such nasty people do only have the power we choose to give them, and WE have the power to deny that to them. You certainly seem to have met an unusually diverse series of pathetic and awful people. But it must be possible, with the assistance of a therapist, to convert the energy of all this undeerstandable rage, into useful progress towards finding the sort of friends you deserve.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Bongi | 2012/05/08

I have aslo decided to be content being single. It''s better to be alone than a bad relationship just for the sake of bieng in a relationship. Honestly - since I have been alone, I hardly cry or feel stressed.

If I do find love (true love) one day, I will embrace it - but for now, I am good alone thank you.

Reply to Bongi
Posted by: Bongi | 2012/05/08

Phil, my thoughts exactly. When people tell me that I am a good person I say " You should ask my ex husband about that" . I swear, if you heard him talking about me you would swear that I am the devil walking the earth.

I am very old school myself and I find it so hard to date these days. As Alexa says, these days falling in love is a mortal sin. People dont want you to love them. If you love them you should be ashamed of yourself. All these games people play (both men and women) are so exhausting - I don''t know where to go coz games seem to be everywhere.

Reply to Bongi
Posted by: Phil | 2012/05/08

lol... On a ligther note. I''m single  and I think that I''m not so bad. But certainly, my x thinks I''m the biggest *asshole on earth?

Are all x''s bad according to the other? Or do some people just bring the worst out of the next person? And surely  there are a lot of very horrible people out there..

Life  so complicated hey....

Reply to Phil
Posted by: maybe? | 2012/05/08

It''s not that I''m not taking all of your comment seriously, but it sound to me like Phil &  Alexa and James &  Lolly would match up quite good, hey guys! You never know....

Wishing you all the best!

Reply to maybe?
Posted by: Phil | 2012/05/08

Ladies  I don''t think it''s a men thing. " People" are unrelaible. And finding the right person or a good person is not easy.

Personally Alexa: i am doing what you are doing now. Focussing on my kids. And being a guy I''m not going to say all woman are bad. Rather  I will stick with my first comment.
What do you ladies think  isn''t this true?

Just a parting comment. A hell of a lot of people are in relationships or marriages that are torture  just for teh sake of having someone. Now taht  is really sad.at is sad

Reply to Phil
Posted by: James | 2012/05/08

I feel exactly the same except towards women, my wife (ex) was nothing more than a tramp at the end of the day. Any other women I have been involved with since divorcing 6 years back have all been the same in respect of its all about " me, myself and I"  and what all can I drag out of this man. I am now going to remain single and am happier for it. There is no commitment from anyone any more, both men and women. I know I am generalising but that is the way I feel since it seems " Old School"  values dont apply anymore.

Reply to James
Posted by: Alexa | 2012/05/08

I so understand your anger and where you are coming from! I have had one disappoinment after another with men and I have had enough too! Just recently I was involved in a relationship and out of the blue, I was dumped because I had broken the rules and fallen in love with him! Like WTF is that?? I think I may just from now on focus on my children and nothing and no-one else! I have also dreamed of this perfect life, which was not to be - every man I have ever been involved with in some or other way, has let me down and hurt me. I know how you are feeling and I have sympathy with you - you are not alone, there are so many women out there who have gone through the same hurt and disappointment as you. No-one has the right to treat you the way you have been treated.

Reply to Alexa
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012/05/08

Well vented !
Everyone makes mistakes ; neurosis lies in repeatting the same mistakes without bothering to learn from them. At least try to make NEW mistakes !
Counselling could he,p you to understand how you have made repeated bad decisions and accepted into your life a series of bad and unworthy men. ALL men are not like that. I hear the line you objedt to, but it is a truth important to face, that such nasty people do only have the power we choose to give them, and WE have the power to deny that to them. You certainly seem to have met an unusually diverse series of pathetic and awful people. But it must be possible, with the assistance of a therapist, to convert the energy of all this undeerstandable rage, into useful progress towards finding the sort of friends you deserve.

Reply to cybershrink

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