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Question
Posted by: Miffed Mom | 2011/12/27

Verbal sniping

I have 2 daughters in their early teens. Recently 2 girls of a similar age became members of the family group through marriage. The 2 " newcomers"  are spoilt and have been indulged. They are very forward, help themselves to food and snacks without being offered, interrupt adults when adults are engaged in conversation etc.
These 2 are associated with my 2 at family gatherings etc that is unavoidable, however my 2 are being subjected to ugly sniping personal remarks about their shape and size. My 2 have been properly raised and do not respond in kind. How do I handle this ? I do not want to approach their mother who is a dear soul and would be horribly hurt to realise what little beasts her daughters are and how badly they behave. Should I perhaps get them on their own and " tear a strip"  (They would not dare to run to their mother) Should I advise my girls to tell them they do not appreciate these unkind remarks and cut them out until they behave? Always awkward when families get together which is quite often. Any advice ??

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Have a calm discussion with your kids, about how proud you are of how well behaved and well brought up they are, in contrast to this pair of spoiled and clumsy kids, and encourage them to behave in the way you have always done. And support them that this couple of little monsters sound jealous of how well-behaved your kids are, so resort to clumsy and crude sniping.
The mother is not entirely a "dear soul" if she has brought up her kids to behave badly and cruelly, and if she doesn't notice this. Gently break it to her that they are cruel to your daughters and clumsy in company. Tell her that while you enjoy meeting her, the behaviour of her daughters makes these encounters much less pleasant than they could be. Ask if you can help her to bring it home to hwer daughters how they should behave towards others.

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/12/28

Have a calm discussion with your kids, about how proud you are of how well behaved and well brought up they are, in contrast to this pair of spoiled and clumsy kids, and encourage them to behave in the way you have always done. And support them that this couple of little monsters sound jealous of how well-behaved your kids are, so resort to clumsy and crude sniping.
The mother is not entirely a "dear soul" if she has brought up her kids to behave badly and cruelly, and if she doesn't notice this. Gently break it to her that they are cruel to your daughters and clumsy in company. Tell her that while you enjoy meeting her, the behaviour of her daughters makes these encounters much less pleasant than they could be. Ask if you can help her to bring it home to hwer daughters how they should behave towards others.

Reply to cybershrink
Posted by: Ovious | 2011/12/27

And where is your husband and the girls father in all this ...what do they say and what do they suggest????????????

Reply to Ovious

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