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Question
Posted by: Go99a | 2011-06-15

Verbal Abuse

Hi Everyone!

I need some help, please?

Im in a 2year relationship now with a man that i love with my ENTIRE being, but he is really bad on the verbal abuse. And it is really hurting inside, but i love him too much to leave him! And honestly, Im a bit scared to leave him as well... Im not sure how he will take it... And I am scared. But what can i do? Will this ever stop? What can i do???

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

What do you find so intensely loveable about someone who abuses you ? Usually, when this occurs, in means that you are deeply in love with the idea of being in love with someone, rather than actually in love with the abuser. What sort of "love" is it that encourages you to stay with an abuser, and encourage him to hurt you so much ?
Now, to be scared of how an abuser may react when he learns his victim is planning to leave, OK, it makes sense to be scared or at least wary of that. Contact and work with a group like POWA that works with abused women, to plan as safe an exit as possible, so as to protect yourself maximally. But remaining with an abuser, with someone who feels free to hurt you, isn't a safe option, either.
Work with a counsellor to gain self-respect and self-esteem, and to recognize that you deserve so vwery much more than this guy

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

2
Our users say:
Posted by: Go99a | 2011-06-15

Thx, but it all sounds so easy - but its not!!! I will go on the POWA website and see what to do next!

Thank u very much!

Reply to Go99a
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011-06-15

What do you find so intensely loveable about someone who abuses you ? Usually, when this occurs, in means that you are deeply in love with the idea of being in love with someone, rather than actually in love with the abuser. What sort of "love" is it that encourages you to stay with an abuser, and encourage him to hurt you so much ?
Now, to be scared of how an abuser may react when he learns his victim is planning to leave, OK, it makes sense to be scared or at least wary of that. Contact and work with a group like POWA that works with abused women, to plan as safe an exit as possible, so as to protect yourself maximally. But remaining with an abuser, with someone who feels free to hurt you, isn't a safe option, either.
Work with a counsellor to gain self-respect and self-esteem, and to recognize that you deserve so vwery much more than this guy

Reply to cybershrink

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