Our expert says:
What do you find so intensely loveable about someone who abuses you ? Usually, when this occurs, in means that you are deeply in love with the idea of being in love with someone, rather than actually in love with the abuser. What sort of "love" is it that encourages you to stay with an abuser, and encourage him to hurt you so much ?
Now, to be scared of how an abuser may react when he learns his victim is planning to leave, OK, it makes sense to be scared or at least wary of that. Contact and work with a group like POWA that works with abused women, to plan as safe an exit as possible, so as to protect yourself maximally. But remaining with an abuser, with someone who feels free to hurt you, isn't a safe option, either.
Work with a counsellor to gain self-respect and self-esteem, and to recognize that you deserve so vwery much more than this guy
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