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Question
Posted by: Stephanie | 2012-06-06

Vanity?

I am 49 years old - I have decided that I would like to exercise and tone my body up a bit. My husband says that I am being vain and wants to know who I want to look good for and if there is another man in my life!!!! Is there something wrong with wanting to look good? My husband is eight years younger than I am, is overweight and despite being told by the doctor to lose weight, he still eats too much, does not exercise and every weekend sleeps for hours on end during the day! I have cut down on sweets and other goodies at home so that he won''t be tempted to eat unhealthy foods, but he just munches on other fattening things like bread and cookies - he can eat an entire slab of chocolate at night when he is watching TV! He does not seem to understand that I want him to be healthy too. He makes me feel so guilty about wanting to exercise and cut down simply because he is not prepared to do it, so it''s easier to assume that I want to look good for another man! I am often complimented as I don''t look my age. What''s up with him or am I wrong in wanting to maintain a healthy body?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

It is of course, as you well know, possible to wish to take up healthy exercise for its own obvious direct benefits to yourself. And in my experience ( of patients, not personally ! ) people who choose to have affairs rarely feel it necessary to join a gym and adopt an exercise program before doing so !
Dont feel guilty at all about just wanting to exercise sensibly. Its likely that his real objection might be that you will draw attention to his failure to adopt similar healthy exercise and diet programs which he needs to do for the sake on his own health !
Carry on and enjoy your plans, and invite him to join you, which will help him to keep up with you ( in more ways than one !) and to see how blameless and wholesome it all is.

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2
Our users say:
Posted by: Jane | 2012-06-07

Just tell him that you want to enjoy time together and when you exercise you get more energy and that it will improve your sex life when you have more energy. He''ll soon be doing pushups etc!

Reply to Jane
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012-06-06

It is of course, as you well know, possible to wish to take up healthy exercise for its own obvious direct benefits to yourself. And in my experience ( of patients, not personally ! ) people who choose to have affairs rarely feel it necessary to join a gym and adopt an exercise program before doing so !
Dont feel guilty at all about just wanting to exercise sensibly. Its likely that his real objection might be that you will draw attention to his failure to adopt similar healthy exercise and diet programs which he needs to do for the sake on his own health !
Carry on and enjoy your plans, and invite him to join you, which will help him to keep up with you ( in more ways than one !) and to see how blameless and wholesome it all is.

Reply to cybershrink

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