Our expert says:
It's your house, so if you don't want drug use there --- that's that. You may tactfully remind her that someone might call the police if you notice drug use, which is NOT a compulsory part of any normal party --- and that any such trouble for her kid brother might screw up his plans to go overseas. Its not depriving the little twerp of anything valuable --- and there are drugs enough in most other countries to keep him fully occupied there. It is the kid who needs to get over himself, and perhaps your gf too, not you. Good guests follow their host's lead, and don't expect to compel him to adopt to their ways. If they don't like the rules of YOUR home, they can hire somewhere else for their party --- and they'll soon find nother venues have rules, too. Do none of his furry little friends have a home where the party could be held ?
And as JOoo says, why would you want to consider marrying such an inconsioderate and hedonistic, silly woman ? You say you love her, but nothing you describe i at all loveable.
As Tango says, you are being --- I would say TOO tolerant. It is NOT being a cool guy to let her and her kid brother walk all over you. That is definitively NOT cool. THEy are being selfish, YOU are being adult. Your concerns ae NOT dumb --- her flashy and suspiciously well-practised argguments ARE dumb. Nothing whatever mad about your thoughts of approaching the police and setting up a raid if the drug use emerges.
Re-Read the constitution --- there is no basic human right to take drugs or to drink oneself senseless.
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