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Question
Posted by: Anon | 2010/03/22

Urgent - Need Help

Good Day

My Mother-in=law has aproblem with her youngest son, age24, he has been abusing drugs since the age of 15/16. He denies it and even now denies using such drugs, he has however no respect for her or her home andnow lives with his granny. He verbally abuses his parents and bully''s them into giving him money and enything else he wants. Does not want to work at all. Cannot hold a conversation and does enjoy any social company. He of late has become violent and even more abusive.

My mom-in-law has tried everything, he does not want to attend or accompany her to SANCA and because he is much bigger due to steriod abuse a few years back he is extremely diffucult. I am afraid that he will end up hurting his parents or himself. Where can we be directed as we dont want it to go any further than it has. We want to help him so that he will eventually be able to lead aa somewhat normal life, like getting a job. Where can we be referred and if e still does not want to accept this how can we get thee law involved. Already mom has sought a restraining order from home and her work place.

Please Help.....

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Our expert says:
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Greetings
This man sounds like he needs tough love. No more enabling him, therefore, his granny will have to kick him out, or he has to get treatment.
Right now, she is feeding him (and his addiction) and giving him a roof over his head. What a lovely, charmed love for an addict. Shelter and food, with a nice grandma cluck clucking-over him. Wow. All this while he’s thinking what a bunch of suckers you are.
Enough is enough! He is a 24-year-old man; it is a disgrace that his grandmother has to metaphorically wipe his bum for him. It’s time for action.
All money given to him must be cut off. Immediately. He has to be sent to a rehab, right away. You can contact Taryn on Tel: 021 790 7779 to ask for guidance on this. Her email address is taryn@harmonyclinic.co.za
You don’t mention where you live, but we can make a plan.
If he doesn’t want to co-operate, he must find a job, even if it means washing dishes in a restaurant. Should he become aggressive, it is the perfect time to kick him out. Phone the police.
In addition, if he does not agree to rehab, he has to leave his grandmother’s home within 48 hours or the police must be phoned.
There are ways and means to tackle a hardened addict like this and it’s not going to be through treating him with kids’ gloves. He is holding you all hostage, it’s enough now.
Best of luck. Incidentally, it would be recommended that his parents and grandmother attend Narcanon, a programme, free-of-charge, that assists family and friends of addicts. By this time, they too, will need some form of facilitation.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Addictions Expert Forum | 2010/03/23

Greetings
This man sounds like he needs tough love. No more enabling him, therefore, his granny will have to kick him out, or he has to get treatment.
Right now, she is feeding him (and his addiction) and giving him a roof over his head. What a lovely, charmed love for an addict. Shelter and food, with a nice grandma cluck clucking-over him. Wow. All this while he’s thinking what a bunch of suckers you are.
Enough is enough! He is a 24-year-old man; it is a disgrace that his grandmother has to metaphorically wipe his bum for him. It’s time for action.
All money given to him must be cut off. Immediately. He has to be sent to a rehab, right away. You can contact Taryn on Tel: 021 790 7779 to ask for guidance on this. Her email address is taryn@harmonyclinic.co.za
You don’t mention where you live, but we can make a plan.
If he doesn’t want to co-operate, he must find a job, even if it means washing dishes in a restaurant. Should he become aggressive, it is the perfect time to kick him out. Phone the police.
In addition, if he does not agree to rehab, he has to leave his grandmother’s home within 48 hours or the police must be phoned.
There are ways and means to tackle a hardened addict like this and it’s not going to be through treating him with kids’ gloves. He is holding you all hostage, it’s enough now.
Best of luck. Incidentally, it would be recommended that his parents and grandmother attend Narcanon, a programme, free-of-charge, that assists family and friends of addicts. By this time, they too, will need some form of facilitation.

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