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Posted by: Dirk | 2011/10/03

Update on 682 &  628

I got home on Friday and my wife tells me that I must phone some friends and go out with them on Sat night as she does not want me to sit at home. She also had an issue when I packed my own lunch for work on Sunday... SHe is still dead quiet and says this is her ''coping'' mechanism as I am domineering and only happy when things are done according to my way. I have again offered that we/her go to see a psychologist and she refuses. I mentioned to her that I suspect she might have a form of bipolar as she going from super high to super low within hours. She screamed at me and was angry as how dare I call her a ''mad'' person. I only want to help her...

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

So she copes with your being domineering, by being domineering ? And with your wanting everything your own way, by wanting everything HER own way ? I'm sorry you suggested Bipolar to her - in Bipolar Disorder, as I think I mentioned before, mood swings take place over days and weeks, not within minutes. And now she thinks, mistakenly, that you're calling her "mad" she may be even more reluctant to seek the help she needs. I wonder whether, if you arranged to see a marriage counsellor on your own, calmly and pleasantly telling her that you're so sorry she apparently doesn't want to come along, as you'd prefer not to talk about her without her being present, she might be more interested ?
And I can't help wondering what HER plans are for Saturday night ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: Maria | 2011/10/04

... or who wants to grow as a person in some area of their lives. Because we are not static beings, throughout your life you can change and grow emotionally, physically, spiritually... there is no shame in asking for help on this journey.

Reply to Maria
Posted by: Maria | 2011/10/04

Psychologists do not only help " mad"  people, if by mad you mean someone with a diagnosed psychiatric illness like depression and bipolar. They also help perfectly " normal"  people who have some problem that they need to get past in their lives.

Reply to Maria
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/10/03

So she copes with your being domineering, by being domineering ? And with your wanting everything your own way, by wanting everything HER own way ? I'm sorry you suggested Bipolar to her - in Bipolar Disorder, as I think I mentioned before, mood swings take place over days and weeks, not within minutes. And now she thinks, mistakenly, that you're calling her "mad" she may be even more reluctant to seek the help she needs. I wonder whether, if you arranged to see a marriage counsellor on your own, calmly and pleasantly telling her that you're so sorry she apparently doesn't want to come along, as you'd prefer not to talk about her without her being present, she might be more interested ?
And I can't help wondering what HER plans are for Saturday night ?

Reply to cybershrink

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