Our expert says:
If you have never been happy in this relationship, and he has never trusted you - how has it managed to last for over 7 years ? And I'm sure if you went to the magistrate's court, the court would, after reviewing his earnings, require him to pay maintenance for both children - if he choses to have children with you, he owes it to the children to maintain them.
Now it is NOT part of the raditional of ANY group or culturwe in SA, for a woman to have 10 children all by different fathers, and then to lie to her chioldren abou the names of their fathers, and suchlike - that sounds like someone with little idea of how to be a good mother, and I'm sure you're right that it would be upsetting for a child and may influence his current behaviour. But notice I say INFLUENCE, not DETERMINE. We still have the freedom to act more responsibly yo our spouse and children than our parents did to theirs.
Would he consider joining you in mariage counselling ? If not, think of what is best for you and for the children. He would be required by the courts to pay maintenance for them whether or not you were divorced, so think about what would be the best for you all
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