Posted by: worried | 2009-09-21


I have recently moved out of the country due to the fact that my wife got an incredible offer. I had a reasonable paying office job back home, Now on the other hand I cant find a good job because of the language barrier, I can only do private tutoring to your learners. I am no longer the breadwinner and feel that I have no real job nor any contribution to society or my family. I miss the office enviroment and I feel lonely because of it and thus unworthy. I want to discuss it with my wife but then she feels depressed because she put me in the situation. Any advice?

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Our expert says:
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Make it clear to your wife that you don't blame her for the situation, as she had received an offer too good to refuse ; but that you want and need jointly to make plans to find the best way to deal with it. Let her understand that while you think you understand her poin of view, and don't want her to feel guilty at all, you feel as though you're making no real contribution, and worry about not being the breadwinner. Of course, you apparently are still A breadwinner, just not THE breadwinner ; and apparently there's enough bread to go round. See what you can discover, jointly, in further opportunities for you to feel useful and worthy.

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