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Question
Posted by: Anon | 2008/08/26

Unsure

I' m very confused about this situation that I am in. The father of my child and I have decided to try again, but this time we take it slow. Now we have not really discussed when all of this will happen. I am the type of person who wants a concrete answer and all he tells me is that he will let me know which he hasnt. I know that he was in a relationship and that he broke it off with the girl but I suspect that there is someone else in the picture. To me nothing has been made exclusive, so I went on a date with someone, my ex found out about it and was extremely upset telling me that I should tell him who it is. I then told him that if he doesnt tell me who he dates I dont need to tell him who I am dating. We had a huge argument about it and he told me that if I dont tell him then he will never come to my house again. To which i replied that if he felt that way its fine with me, because he cannot force him to tell him things that I dont want to. This all happened on Sunday night at 08h30, i then switched off my cell and left it at that. Then at 10h30, my door bell rings and its him. It was weird because he acted like nothing has happened. An hour later he tells me that he is going home to switch off his lights and he is coming back to my house which he did and he slept over. I ended sleeping on the sofa because the bed was too crowded with him and my daughter. At least one good thing happened was my daughter was happy when she saw her daddy in the morning.

Before I was so certain that I wanted him back but after what happened on Sunday I seem to tolerate him. Its funny seeing that this happened overnight, the change was very drastic. To me it seems that he wants to date other women but I' m not allowed to be with anyone, and sit around waiting for him. Why the sudden change in heart.

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Our expert says:
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As you are trying to set up an actually complex situation without agreeing on or negotiating the rules of engagement, why not see a relationship counsellor together, and plan more wiesly and with more chance of success ?

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