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Question
Posted by: Rita | 2010/06/23

Unpleasant Documents

Dear Cybershrink

My mom was destitute and in my care due to something my brothers did / caused her to lose everything. She lives with me now and we are estranged from them. There was a court case to try and obtain maintenance from them, it became futile. I received all the documentation back from the lawyers. Its in a box under my desk! I feel that this box is a reminder of what has past (we have worked super hard at moving forward), but I am loathe to destroy it (I want to and my mom wants to), I''m just scared that we won''t be able to get all this documentation together in the future if we had to. I know you can''t tell me what to do, but I am thinking that its best to be shot of the past and if we had to re-do a maintenance application the lawyers could testify to what happened before. Besides which our circumstances would have changed anyway. This box signifies everything that they did and how painful &  traumatising it all was (13 years of history in there).

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

You're right not to destroy the documents, as a time might come when you might need them again. And I'n not sure that lawyers ever actually testify, or that their statement of what happened before would be accepted by any court in the absence of the documents. And jordan's suggestion that you ask the lawyer whether they might make and attest a document about the case now, makes sense - in years to come, the same lawyer(s) may no longer be around
Is there the lawyer who handled your case able to store them ? Or your bank may offer safe storage, or some such arrangement. I understand your desire no to feel tied to that bitter case, but it's a psyhological tie, to the case and all it represented, and not to the documents as such, so getting rid of the documents won't automatically free you of the bad feelings. OK, having them under your desk to stub your toes on may no help. At a push, maybe at the back of a cupboard, with a handful of mothballs ?

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2
Our users say:
Posted by: Jordan | 2010/06/23

Shoo, your brothers sound aweful.
What I would do is put it somewhere safe, like in a safe at a bank, storage, your lawyer.
You don''t have to have it under your feet, it will drag you down.
Also, I think I would get a statement now from the lawyers and keep it with the documents in case of it ever rearing its ugly head again in future.
But don''t sit with the stuff. It is obviously upsetting you so get rid of it but I wouldn''t destroy it, this sounds like quite a serious matter.
Good luck and I hope it works out for you and your mom.
God Bless!!!

Reply to Jordan
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/06/23

You're right not to destroy the documents, as a time might come when you might need them again. And I'n not sure that lawyers ever actually testify, or that their statement of what happened before would be accepted by any court in the absence of the documents. And jordan's suggestion that you ask the lawyer whether they might make and attest a document about the case now, makes sense - in years to come, the same lawyer(s) may no longer be around
Is there the lawyer who handled your case able to store them ? Or your bank may offer safe storage, or some such arrangement. I understand your desire no to feel tied to that bitter case, but it's a psyhological tie, to the case and all it represented, and not to the documents as such, so getting rid of the documents won't automatically free you of the bad feelings. OK, having them under your desk to stub your toes on may no help. At a push, maybe at the back of a cupboard, with a handful of mothballs ?

Reply to cybershrink

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