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Question
Posted by: mom_of_3 | 2008/08/18

Unhappy kids

Hi

My older two kids are 6 and 4 yrs old. I am married to their father and our home is ok with a few ups and downs like normal homes.

OUr children get lots of attention but their behaviour is starting to trouble me. My 6 yr old is always crying over every little thing ( if her siblings take her toy etc) and she' s always so sulky until things go her way. She also has these outburst of anger and always arguing with me. Sometimes I also just scarem back at her:(i just feel like its the strat of our relationship getting ruined.

And these past few months the 4 and 6 yr old are fighting so much with each other. They always find something to fight about.

Th ebaby is 2 and prob the happiest. I just feel like we' re loosing control in this house. How should i deal with my older ones behaviour and the fighting?

thanks

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Our expert says:
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This sounds like a variation on the general discipline problems we so often discuss. Some thoughts --- you are married, but in your description, the father doesn't seem to figure at all. BOth of you must work together to outline a simple clear set of discipline rules and p rocedues, and apply them jointly and in harmony. Rewards for good behaviour, and punishment in the sense of loss of privileges and treats, for not doing so, and probably a behaviour chart to record good and bad behaviour, progressions and regressions.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Mommy | 2008/08/18

Dont scream at the child, that s your first mistake, I know its easier said than done,but try to control yourself even if she makes you so angry that screaming seems like the best solution. Secondly,it seems like this is a case of your daughter feeling left out,because of the fact that you have two other children that needs your attention, and probably other responsibilities in the house that takes up your time, so she looks for ways of attracting your attention by crying,sulking,outbursts of anger etc. Heres what you need to do as a matter of urgency,set time aside to spend special time with your 6 year old, so that she can feel that she still has a place in the family and in Moms schedule, ask Dad to look after the younger ones for that hour or 1/2 hour and do something with her that she enjoys, even if its bath time that you spend with her and use that time to chat and play, or asking her to help you prepare supper, or whatever she enjoys, just make time for your daugher, because she is probably feeling left out. If Dad cant take the other two, wait till they are asleep and then make bedtime special for her,read to her or tuck her in.

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