Our expert says:
Although sex is just a part of a relationship, it could be seen as the cement that binds the bricks. If you are not satisfied or fulfilled now…the probability is big that your frustrations are going to increase if it is not addressed in a constructive manner. Once you commit yourself in marriage it is a long term commitment and you need to be sure that that is where you are happy and feel fulfilled. The fact that you have mentioned/suggested to him before that you should explore other ways of making love, opened the door for you to open this discussion. If you feel that you could not do it alone, I would strongly suggest that you contact a professional psychologist that could work with you as a couple. Do not ignore this and get married in the hope that this will just get better – You have a responsibility to be honest with yourself and with you future marriage partner. You do not want to end up with a person where your frustrations turn into resentment and eventually destroy the relationship in any case.
A website that could be helpful is www.sexualhealth.co.za. You are welcome to phone the SASHA Helpline – 0860 100 262; and a facilitator will be able to assist you in finding a practitioner as close as possible to you.
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