Our expert says:
One wonders what a girl of 27 sees in an affair with a man of 54 ( what he sees is easier to imagine ). As he has lied about this at least 3 times ( the initial secret, and at least the twice he promised it was over ) he's no longer a reliable informant as to his own behaviour and intentions.
That he keeps saying he doesn't want a divorce, suggests he wants his cake AND to eat it, as well. He wants all the advantages of remaining married AND the pleasures of the affair.
MEN are not doing this - this particular man is, as SOME men, and women, unfortunately do. He is doing this to your marriage - and so is she. He is nothavin an affair with himself, and she knows exactly what she is doing. The sad fact is that he is rather less wonderful than you thought up till now.
This is in no way your fault.
More of a mystery may be this type of woman, who specializes in married men and in marriage-wrecking.
I disagree with Tanya in one particular - don't string them up to the wires, I've had enough trouble, with cable thieves. Surely there are better places to attach them ?
Maybe legal advice would be helpful - I wonder why he keeps saying he doesn't want a divorce - would it cost him more than he can afford ? And do see a personal counsellor, to help you find the best bway through this situation, for the benefit of yourself and the children.
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