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Question
Posted by: Unknown | 2009-01-14

Unfaithfull husband

Recently I found out that my husband of 45 is having an affair with a girl 20 years younger then him, staying 750km from where we live. We go there once a month to visit my mother, and then they met secretly. She told me things that he said about me, that is not even near the truth, e.g. that he has served me with divorce papers 3 times, but I refuse to sign. That we are not staying together anymore, and that I am staying with a useless guy. He is telling her a lot of lies about his age, and that he is suffering from a heart disease, was having heart attacks, admitted in hosp. etc.They are constantly calling and sending messages to each other.I did not confront him, because I know that he will deny everything, but I could see from his reaction the day that I called the number and made the discovery, he was acting strangely and could not even look me in the eyes.The fact is that we are staying together in a seemingly happy marraige( we do not even fight, and always support each other). I do not know what to do. The house that we are staying in belongs to me, and it seems that he does not have any plan to leave. We do have a four year old girl that adores her father. I cannot talk to anyone, because we are having the perfect marraige in the eyes of both our families and my collegues. I feel so betrayed. I cry at work, pray and then go home and try to act normal, but my mind are killing me. He acts as if nothing has happened. I am not sure whether he is still in contact with the girl .

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Don't worry about your families thinking your mariage is perfect ( and maybe they already don't think so ) --- discuss this with them ; they can probably help. There is no reason why you should suffer and grieve alone. They may be able to help bring him to his senses ( as well as putting the silly girl properly in the picture ). The foolishness of men in their 40's having affairs is only matched by the foolishness of younger women who enter into such affairs.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Lolo | 2009-01-14

you are not fooling anyone by living a lie! if things aren' t working they are not?!? you are going to end up being depressed and suicidal! just face the facts and deal with reality - your husband is a cheat my dear and in this day and age who needs that - what if you contract something and die - have you ever thought about that? and what going to happen to your little girl? Think rationally!!! Crying won' t solve your problems.

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