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Question
Posted by: Thando | 2010/09/22

Unfaithfull

I am married and have been unfaithful to my husband with my ex who is also married.He was my boyfriend 12 years ago. He told his wife and she is threating to tell my husband. He put all the blame on me,but is still bothering me although I do not want to see or speak to him again and he now he is encouranging his wife to tell my husband.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Real life is far beyond the imagination of those who write soapies. Lets see. You cheated on your husband, with your ex, who was cheating on his wife, to there's at least 4 unhappy people. But he chose to tell his wife, and now she threatens to tell your husband ( might it perhaps be a good idea for you to tell him first, rather than waiting for him to hear it even more unpleasantly from her ? ) The ex is blaiming it all on you - but HE is chasing you for more, and as you refused to repeat the infidelity, he now threatens to get his wife to tell your husband, to punish you for not agreeing to continue the cheating ? Have you told his wife that he is now doing this ?
It sounds like either him or his wife will tell your husband, so maybe you need to quietly and apologetically, tell him, and ask him to forgive you and join you in marriage counselling sessions to try to work this all out. That way at least the ex loses his ability to try to blakmail you into further infidelity. If your husband can join your side in this, you can jointly tell his wife what he has been up to, and possibly even get an interdict to forbid him from troubling you further.
What do other readers think ?

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3
Our users say:
Posted by: Ph | 2010/09/23

Beat him at his own game... tell your husband. Either way, your husband will know, it may not be today, not even tomorrow, but he will find out.

Reply to Ph
Posted by: Happiness | 2010/09/22

So you are the victim here. From where I stand, every action has its consequencies. As an adult you made choices, good or bad, now just deal with the results!!

Reply to Happiness
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/09/22

Real life is far beyond the imagination of those who write soapies. Lets see. You cheated on your husband, with your ex, who was cheating on his wife, to there's at least 4 unhappy people. But he chose to tell his wife, and now she threatens to tell your husband ( might it perhaps be a good idea for you to tell him first, rather than waiting for him to hear it even more unpleasantly from her ? ) The ex is blaiming it all on you - but HE is chasing you for more, and as you refused to repeat the infidelity, he now threatens to get his wife to tell your husband, to punish you for not agreeing to continue the cheating ? Have you told his wife that he is now doing this ?
It sounds like either him or his wife will tell your husband, so maybe you need to quietly and apologetically, tell him, and ask him to forgive you and join you in marriage counselling sessions to try to work this all out. That way at least the ex loses his ability to try to blakmail you into further infidelity. If your husband can join your side in this, you can jointly tell his wife what he has been up to, and possibly even get an interdict to forbid him from troubling you further.
What do other readers think ?

Reply to cybershrink

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