Posted by: Thandi | 2012-12-04

Unfair husband

yesterday my husband bought me a bag, and 200 for hair, you know why, he was feeling guilty because he does not do anything for me I am working I know but I think a man should do his work and spoil his wife, you know why he bought them its because it is December and he has a daughter by another mother so he must buy for her. and another thing we have arranged an unveiling which I must assist, the other day he was telling me that I am not assisting him by anything and yet I am the one who assisted him to bury his father, I am paying school fee for the son, paying rates, and I always deposit a sum of R2500 to his account so that we can at least balance. I told him I dont want the bag and the money I will spoil myself because I can see that he was not doing it from the heart but feelilng guilty that what will I say when he takes the money and give to daughter and yet in the house we are nothing

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Our expert says:
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If man and wife are both working, shouldn't she sometimes "spoil" him as well ?
If he has a daughter by another mother, isn't it good that he should care enough about his daughter to get her something for Christmas ? Would you prefer it if he were the sort of man who ignores his responsibilities and his children ?
Sounds though, like you two have concerns and potential arguments about how to share family expenses as you both earn. These things are best discussed and agreed ; when one starts assuming that he or she "knows" they should pay for this or that, there are usually troubles ahead.
Maybe you were right here, but I'm uneasy that you ASSUMED he had bad motives for giving you the bag and the money - isn't it possible that he meant well ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: joer | 2012-12-11

you are the exact defination of an ungrateful B. you complain about paying rates which means he pays the house, you want him to do yout hair and you work. Complain about the daughter being taken care of. Not only are you ungrateful, you are also stupid and if this man has sense in his head, he would leave you and go for his ex. I believe there is better treatment there. You helped bury his DAD. so you feel you have achieved your status quo. what did you want to do? seat back as he buries his father as you watch and giggle. I thought he was your father in law. Poor guy, if he has good friends, they will advice him to leave you. I think you realize that he deserves better than you

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Posted by: Mother | 2012-12-05

Sounds like you earn more money than your hubby since you have to deposit money into his account to " balance" . Yet when he takes from the little he has and gives to you - tries to SPOIL you - you have the nerve to accuse him of WHAT? Wow, you are hard to please - poor man.

Reply to Mother
Posted by: Just saying! | 2012-12-04

Oh boy , some woman just loves the drame.

You knew he had a daughter when you met him and now you get jealouse because he must get her something for xmas, competing with a child not good.
My ex chose his fiance above his daugther and this is not fair.
Being a step mom is not easy I know but in your case " unfair Wife"  is in order, you are picking a fight because you feel unsecure over a child! now really, reality check, would you be happy if he did not buy her a gift at all???
My daughter is heartbroken because her dad does not care and she got no gift for her bday and she is not getting for xmas either! some woman, I dont know, you sound like my sister in law she is competing with her husband''s daughter and her marraige is falling apart at the moment, appreciate what you have some woman would love a responsible husband like yours! Sorry if I sound hard but sometimes it is needed!

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