Our expert says:
And good day to you, sir ! Remarkable thing, the Web, isn't it ? Containing so much, and so little.
Let's see. I wonder what wuld happen if you went to the Maintenance Court to claim support from the thoughtless and wasteful mother, for the child ? At least enough for school & related expenses, and to enable you to hire a minder for when you are job-seeking or at work ? Obviously the amount qwould be revised once you found another job.
Try our Divorce Support Forum, and other resources--- maybe there are other divorced people with children and in a similar positionto yours, and you could exchange child-minding time, so as to free up at least some time for each of you to do job-hunting ?
Regarding mother. I wonder whether the local cancer association and/or hospice might be able to lend some support for her, some counselling ? Does she have any outside interests she could be helped to engage in, to improve her mood ? Couldn't she help with some of the child-minding, to enable you to job-hunt ?
One wonders, from your tale, about her mental state. If she is indeed, for one reason or another, becoming mentally incompetent, a court might make you trustee over her possessions and finances, to look after them for her. But unless she is impaired enough to make this a straight-forward procedure, there's be a risk of stirring up more malevolence on her side. Explore getting some free legal advice from a free law clinic ( if they still exist --- they should ) at your nearest law schools.
Does she have other children, or other people to leave her estate to ? If not, then if one avoids stirring up her enmity, i she dies without a will, her estate would presumably come to you and your child.
Think what issues stir up this bitterness between you and her, and try to avoid them. FInd calm times to ask her advice --- not to complain about your situation, annoying though it is, but to encourage her to look for ways to make positive suggestions that could be helpful.
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