Posted by: Lea | 2008-12-18

Unconditional Love gone wrong

Help, I am at the end of my tether once again today. I cannot take it anymore. Wouldnt it be easier for me to hang my schizoeffective son of 37 years and myself up on a tree . I try everything - he drinks abilify, i do everything to keep him positive but very small thing can make him deeply depressed and pulls me down with him. I am 58 years and he has been ill for 13 yrs. I just cannot win. he has no future and at present I feel as if it is better to take him out of this life because he will never win.

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Our expert says:
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Sounds like a very discouraging situation, Lea. Surely you have to discuss this in detail with members of whatever team are supposed to be looking after him --- what options there may be for admission, revised, medication, and so on ?
Its not unconditional ove that has gone wrong --- but it can, I know, become so wearying. This is why intelligent shrinks and institutions arrange for periodic admissions to hospital for what we call "respite" admissions, to enable the primary caregiver, you, to rest and care for yourself for a while, and get refreshed for continuing with the tasks you are so used to. Talk with Lifeline. Check with SANCA about facilites. You need counselling support, with or without medication. I wish doctors would realize that medicines, though they can be very valuable, are NEVER enough to deal with such problems without counselling and basic human support. Do, indeed, seek proper care for yourself, too. Don't give up.
From my own experience, I know that however hard to work to provide that essential care, and however wearying it gets, when a stage is reached when you are no longer needed, it becomes a source of further grief, and you never feel you had done enough

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Our users say:
Posted by: LEA | 2008-12-18

Thanks for quick reply but I think too many people are suffering because of his condition. Ive always loved him unconditionally ut I think its time out now. nothing seems to help and i am tired of trying to understand the situation. I think I am now needing treatment but I also know med will not change things for him or myself so i will give it a skip

Reply to LEA
Posted by: Nozi | 2008-12-18

Have you tried SANCA? or seeking any other help with him, you can' t handle this problem alone, seek counselling, he needs to detox, right on the top of this page you will find names and numbers, call them and explain your problem, you not alone in this so don' t think it' s your problem, seek help, he can be helped but must agree, if not help him to help himself. it will take a while but professional help is needed now.....all the best...and please don' t do anything stupid like hanging your selves woman, there is help out there seek and you shall find....blessings.

Reply to Nozi

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