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Question
Posted by: David | 2010-06-15

uncomfortable problem

hi all

please let me give you the whole story. i have a problem in that i recently started flirting, emailed naughty pics, etc via email with a really atrractive girl at work, all in good fun and we eventually had sex.

i am well endowed and it seems that she really likes this in guys and always wanted this sort of encounter. I work in a very professional environment with alot of young professional women and am constantly in meetings, but i have now noticed a few other women loooking at me in these meetings, particularly at my crotch area - i have caught one or two looking, it is particularly uncomfortable on Fridays as it is ''jeans day''.

i cant afford to get hard at work, one of them came into my office leaning over my desk showing almost all of her assets, and it is all just making me feel very uncomfortable.

it seems to me that the girl i slept with has either chatted to some of her friends about it and she is upset with me so we not talking at the moment.

please can any guy or lady out there help me with what i need to do here. i`m not sure if this is the right place to post this as it is not really a sexual problemm but kinda is. if not, please let me know where i can post this - i just want to hear a neutral parties opinion on what to do - its a very difficult position to be in.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

Dear David

You are right, this is not a sex problem that I can help you with. Perhaps you should post your question on the Talk Forum? Good luck.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: David | 2010-06-17

Steve - i do not appreciate your assumptions - for your information, all of the above is 100% true .

Reply to David
Posted by: David | 2010-06-17

thanks for the advice.

Reply to David
Posted by: steve | 2010-06-15

Ladies - David set you all up and made you interested - then gave you his email.

How many fell for it ?

Reply to steve
Posted by: David | 2010-06-15

XXX - thanks for your reply - i think that you response seems much more in line with reality. its just that i have not had such a response like this before (from women) - and i have been wondering if they (the women) were that shallow - but i think its just a game being played or a ''checking out'' as you put it. thanks.

Reply to David
Posted by: XXX | 2010-06-15

I''m pretty sure you know the right thing is to simply avoid any stares ! You are after all a professional in business.
People talk,that''s life.I doubt very much whether all these women are now longing for your body ie they might enjoy looking,
I doubt very much whether these women are now longing for your body, as much as you might enjoy looking at a women''s bust or bum,they are checking you out ...lol.

Reply to XXX
Posted by: Woman | 2010-06-15

Hehe, all those boardroom tables just standing around, doing nothing...

David, it doesn''t matter what you think of yourself, it''s is the image you project - this is what they feel when they''re around you. Now, if you''re smart, you can really make that energy work for you in the office, you know. Loyalty is a commodity not easily found. With you cast a Simba off course! (you get my gist?)

Like it or not, sex is part of life. For all of us. And just because we have culture, learning and morals, when it comes to primal urges, our only difference to animals are that we can choose not to act.

As for me, a sexy man is a sexy man. You see them everywhere. It''s more an aura than it is something you can touch or feel. As I said, I kissed a lot of frogs before I found my king. Oh and women are a lot like men - you get legs-girls,-|-girls, chest girls... It''s just that we''re supposed to be " good girls"  and not sluts that we aren''t as open about it as the men.

Reply to Woman
Posted by: David | 2010-06-15

your replies are becoming rather interesting, i`ll say that. but i`m not one for being Alpha male and ''stud'' - it doesnt suit me. kinda like those decent looking women who seem really nice adn sweet and innocent you see walking around but who are actually really wild in bed. this is not for me.

if i may ask you - where do you look? what do you look for?

ok, now you making me sound like a male lion.......but now that you mention it, this office does look like a rather good venue for a good........meeting.

Reply to David
Posted by: Woman | 2010-06-15

err, my guess would be because you''re the boss and you''ve obviously have a reputation as a stud after your sexy times with the lady in question.

I haven''t heard of an honest married man or woman who has never looked, fantasized or downright perved at someone during some time. I do it, my husband does it, my married friends all do it - a ring doesn''t make you blind, David.

If you want to look at it anthropologically - you are the boss, well hung, and by all accounts good in bed. That makes you an alpha male. And all the females in the area pick up on that lovely alpha male pheromone you secrete. So they all want to mate with you, so their children can be strong like you. An office space is very much a habitat you know, and we all have ancient urges...

Reply to Woman
Posted by: David | 2010-06-15

no - with them having bfs and being married, they still look and stare.

why will they think of me as perfect husband material - i dont understand?!?!

Reply to David
Posted by: Woman | 2010-06-15

For women to talk? oh yes, absolutely. Even the most modest and demure girl will salivate with the rest of us. But shhhh.... it''s a secret  )

I also think that is what you should do, they will squirm at being found out, then they''ll giggle over it for a while, but it will pass. You''re only worry might be that some of those girls now see you as perfect husband material!

Reply to Woman
Posted by: David | 2010-06-15

nothing has reached the boardroom - cause i am in the boardroom.

I think my approach which i mentioned above will serve best - anything sexual mentioned can cause things to get out of hand - so i`ll keep it general - but at the same time get the message across and do these individually. they will talk to each other about it anyway.

yah,.......hopefully another guy comes along, but as far as i know they are married and all have bf`s.

Woman - since you the only one responding - is this normal?

Reply to David
Posted by: Woman | 2010-06-15

Well, if the cake''s on the plate... hehe just joking!

But don''t forget that you are in a position of authority and you should always keep it that way and never abuse it. I think the girls just need a reminder that they *are* building their careers, just like you, and something like this can really put a brake on career advancement.

Chances are that the rumours have reached the boardroom, so you might have to pour some water on fires there too. Bosses don''t like it when there''s waves.

Reply to Woman
Posted by: David | 2010-06-15

a friend of mine told me to ask them " what are you looking at"  and that should put them off - however, i know for a fact that some of these women are not shy, they are confident, wear short skirts and are very outspoken, so if i ask that, they might just give me an answer i do not want to hear.

i`m thinking more along the lines of calling each one individually and speaking about it in general not mentioning any sexual things because that can be reported, but just saying some thing like - i have heard some rumours going around, which i will not entertain - if you are caught spreading rumours, action will be taken against you - hopefully she doesnt take that in a sexual conotation.lol.

mind you there is one or two.....or three that i wouldnt mind.....ag, nevermind........

Reply to David
Posted by: Woman | 2010-06-15

Yup, we talk. Men would be red in face if they only knew. And unfortunately, it happens. You remember that girl in school who everyone had sex with (or rather said they had sex with) whose reputation was ruined because of it? It seems that you have been designated the village lay. Now, you can either act debonair and hope some other dude comes along who is better in the sack than you.

Or you can shock them all, call a meeting, discuss your manhood and ask them to please stop with the looks and remarks, it embarrasses you. Also make sure that you let them know that a personal encounter that took place after work doesn''t really have anything to do with work and your ability and authority or your professionalism and that you expect the same from all of them.

''Fess up, confront the situation head on, and chances are that they will stop it soon enough. (and hopefully have the grace to feel a little ashamed that you caught them perving...)

Reply to Woman
Posted by: David | 2010-06-15

its 20cm long and rather thick. i know this because she actually measured it, it was weird.

Reply to David
Posted by: David | 2010-06-15

You dont understand, in some cases, i am these ladies` superior. so it would be unprofessional.

Reply to David
Posted by: sexologist | 2010-06-15

Dear David

You are right, this is not a sex problem that I can help you with. Perhaps you should post your question on the Talk Forum? Good luck.

Reply to sexologist

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