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Question
Posted by: essie | 2011/08/01

uncomfortable feeling

I am going out for 2 months with this guy.we are over 40.he keep on putting messages on his ex-girlfriends wall that he care and then he phone me to apologized. he say he is only putting it on her wall cause he feel sorry for her as he broke off their relationship. i am not comfortable with this. i am wrong here in not feeling comfortable with this. he phone me to say he write something nice on my wall too. but later she answer on her wall that he is not going to get rid of her easily as she is not gong to leave him. what must i do. it feel for me as he is playing mind games. which he say he is not. for me this is so childish him writing on facebook all the time. i dont know as feel very uneasy about this whole thing. i asked him this morning if he want to be with her then he can go. he said no he loves me.

i am totally confused with his actions and writing on facebook. do i need to worry or must i just ignore it.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Its obvious, surely, that he is very very far from over her and indeed still engaged in that relationship. He should not be even pretending to get into a relationship with you at this stage.
If the previous relationship is over, it needs to be over - no more feeling sorry for her, no more reading her facebook page, let alone posting on it. And if this is the sort of unhappy and obsessive relatonship he has, is this really what you want or need at this stage of life ?
How can he genuinely love you when he is still so enmeshed in a continuing relationship with her ?
If you ignore it, it will surely continue.

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4
Our users say:
Posted by: Lala | 2011/08/02

Clearly he still wants her. If he wants you he will put your feelings first. It is so early in the relationship for you to be dealing with such blatant disrespect. Leave and get someone who will love you and put you first

Reply to Lala
Posted by: Anon | 2011/08/01

If he is commited to you, he will cut her off. Ask him to delete his profile. If he wont, then he cares more about her than about you

Reply to Anon
Posted by: mature man | 2011/08/01

Face book is for teenagers - dump him and find a mature man!

Reply to mature man
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/08/01

Its obvious, surely, that he is very very far from over her and indeed still engaged in that relationship. He should not be even pretending to get into a relationship with you at this stage.
If the previous relationship is over, it needs to be over - no more feeling sorry for her, no more reading her facebook page, let alone posting on it. And if this is the sort of unhappy and obsessive relatonship he has, is this really what you want or need at this stage of life ?
How can he genuinely love you when he is still so enmeshed in a continuing relationship with her ?
If you ignore it, it will surely continue.

Reply to cybershrink

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