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Question
Posted by: dw | 2010/06/09

uncomfortable

My bf of 1 and a half weeks wants me to take him to a swingers club. I have been twice before with a previous bf and made the horible mistake of telling my new bf about it. The thing is I had known my ex for 2 years &  our relationship was over so I basically didnt care. If my new bf and I go to a swingers club now, that will be the end of our relationship as we havent even explored eachother yet! I have told him this, but he is pushing it. And he wants me to have a 3some.... Im so uncomfortable with all of this &  dont know what to do!! Please advise. Thanks.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

I have had a consistent response in regard to this sort of problem, as you'll find if you check and search the archives of this forum. If either partner wanrts to take the other to a swingers club, the relationship is undoubtedly in serious problems, and couples counselling is really needed.
This sort of invitation suggests that he doesn't find the relationship with you alone to be satisfying in some way, but he needs you as a ticket of entry to the swingers club, which generally doesn't allow attendance by lusty single men.
And for him to push you into swinging and threesomes when he knows you are reluctant ( sensible you !) shows him to be selfish and uncaring. Leave him to his groups, and move on, to a guy who respects and values you in your own right, rather than as a handy entrance fee for group scenes

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4
Our users say:
Posted by: j | 2010/06/09

No. Let him go. he''s being very uncaring to you, cold. You deserve better

Reply to j
Posted by: hestia | 2010/06/09

If this is what he expects from you after only one and a half weeks you can just think how it will go further. He is just not that interessted in you. End it now before it because even more difficult.

Reply to hestia
Posted by: H | 2010/06/09

Indien jy ordentlik is, sal jy hom onder sy gat skop met sy three-some stories, maar dit klink of jy daaraan gewoond is...

Reply to H
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/06/09

I have had a consistent response in regard to this sort of problem, as you'll find if you check and search the archives of this forum. If either partner wanrts to take the other to a swingers club, the relationship is undoubtedly in serious problems, and couples counselling is really needed.
This sort of invitation suggests that he doesn't find the relationship with you alone to be satisfying in some way, but he needs you as a ticket of entry to the swingers club, which generally doesn't allow attendance by lusty single men.
And for him to push you into swinging and threesomes when he knows you are reluctant ( sensible you !) shows him to be selfish and uncaring. Leave him to his groups, and move on, to a guy who respects and values you in your own right, rather than as a handy entrance fee for group scenes

Reply to cybershrink

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