Our expert says:
Maybe you're a bit too negative about how friends and family would view you if you discussed some of your concerns with them. People who are full of nonsense rarely if ever think that they may be seen as full of nonsense.
Listen and think about some of the things your hisband says about what he thinks you do. Remember that perceptions are highly important, even if ( maybe especially when ) they're not reflecting actual reality. Maybe I'm not at all selfish, for instance, but if people important to me see me as selfish, that has the same impact and may be relevant - what do I do that allows or encourages them to see me in that way ?
Maria, as usual, makes much sense. Long-distance relationships are never easy ( and if they seem easy, you're missing something ). Getting used to being back together is practial but hardly easy.
And as you're finding, problems interrupted ( such as by his absence ) are not problems solved.
He has no real experience before now, of coping with and amicably handling kids at home, and needs to learn, without assuming that he just somehow knows how to do it.
If he's not working just now, one wonders why it is so highly important to him that the children be silent - what is their normal noise interrupting ? Is he perhaps anxious, stresssed, even depressed ? Obviously he's bothered by not so far finding a job ; especially dificult, in some ways, for someone who was used to being in an executive position and being in control.
Isn't marriage counselling an obviously worthwhile investment at this time ?
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