Our expert says:
Your problem as I understand it is that you are not getting sexually aroused, and as a result are not building up the necessary tension to experience an orgasm. There will be no point in penetration if you are not sufficiently aroused and therefore sufficiently lubricated, as this will not result in an orgasm and only frustrate you further.
My suggestion is that you go back to the basics with regards to what turns you on. You will need to open yourselves up to any hint of what arouses you and your partner, utilising all your senses. You may find that movies, books, sex toys or role-playing do it for you. Perhaps it’s a particular kind of touch. Once you have found what works, slowly build your level of physical intimacy and only move to penetration once you are ready for it.
It could be that you are concentrating on a ‘magic pill’ to sort out this problem, some medical cure that will take it all away. This is unlikely to be the case, but if you have not visited a gynaecologist already, then it is worthwhile getting some tests done, including testosterone, oestrogen, thyroid, vitamin levels, glucose and anything else your doctor would suggests.
Anthony – SASHA. For further information please consult SASHA’S website at www.sexualhealth.qw.co.za/dru. For referral to a professional in your vicinity, please send an email to firstname.lastname@example.org.
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