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Question
Posted by: Frustrated | 2010/09/21

Unable to control my emotions

I have a problem that things that are supposed to be minor irritation to me they come across as serious. It''s like I can''t control my emotions, I over react to most things. What causes this? For example , say someone is chewing gum loudly with their mouth open, it can make me want to slap them, liike I get these strong emotions. Or my nephew he likes to eats with his mouth open I try very hard to keep quite but eventually I end telling him to please close his mouth. If I am stressed I actually shout at the behaviour. I don''t think this is normal. Why does it makes me angry?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

The examples you quote seem to be of badly brought-up people with lousy table-manners and a selfish disregard for other people. Eating with an open mouth has no particular advantages for the sloppy eater, but is usually unpleasant for those compelled to watch and hear the performance.
So to be irritated is not surprising nor abnormal. The real issue for you may be why you find these situations impossible to evade, why you react so strongly and with more distress than they deserve, and why you think of more violent interventions, rather than simpkly speaking calmly to someone saying something like : "YOu know, when you eat like that with your mouth so open, it looks really ugly and puts other people off their food. Have you thought of maybe doing that differently ?"
If these people are in your family, does EVERYONE else do it that way ? And don't other family members also find this unpleasant ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: Frustrated | 2010/09/21

Exactly doc, why do I react so strongly? Why do I get so distressed? What techniques can I use to calm myself down. Why do I have to mind the behavoiur? How come I just can''t ignore it?

Reply to Frustrated
Posted by: Frustrated | 2010/09/21

But Jordan don''t you just hate it? Because it makes me feel so weak that I can''t control myself. Just this morning I had an incident and have decided that I thought of the serenity prayer. The thing is it is not right because I feel that it is affecting my relationship with my family negatively. And I feel bad after doing it, but I can''t helo it. I almost feel like I should join some drug addiction group as it sound like addiction lol.

Reply to Frustrated
Posted by: Jordan | 2010/09/21

Hi Frustrated. I thought it was only me. Yes, I also get irritated easily and it''s very hard to bite your tongue. Silly things, like chewing too loudly, not picking up your feet when you walk, not speaking properly (lazy talking), it all drives me nuts. Try the serenity prayer, it works for me.

Reply to Jordan
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/09/21

The examples you quote seem to be of badly brought-up people with lousy table-manners and a selfish disregard for other people. Eating with an open mouth has no particular advantages for the sloppy eater, but is usually unpleasant for those compelled to watch and hear the performance.
So to be irritated is not surprising nor abnormal. The real issue for you may be why you find these situations impossible to evade, why you react so strongly and with more distress than they deserve, and why you think of more violent interventions, rather than simpkly speaking calmly to someone saying something like : "YOu know, when you eat like that with your mouth so open, it looks really ugly and puts other people off their food. Have you thought of maybe doing that differently ?"
If these people are in your family, does EVERYONE else do it that way ? And don't other family members also find this unpleasant ?

Reply to cybershrink

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