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Question
Posted by: Margie | 2008/09/12

unable to continue

I have come to the end today and cant go on. I was supported by a son both financially plus he and I share the payments on my flat, as I put all my cash into it and he pays the bond. He had brain damge some years ago after a car accident and his personality changed. He has now decided and told me outright that I am a financial burden and he has decided not to assist me financially any more, or pay the bond and he has removed me fom his medical plan. He doesnt care any more, although he has plenty of money, he says he' s just tired of supporting me.

I am in my mid sixties with family I have never been close to, I have tried to discuss this with my brother and sister, but they are way younger than me, and have always been close to each other, while I was the one looking in who could never work out how to belong to my family. I am not looking for fiancial help from them, I just hoped for some emotional support.

I have lost a son, plus his children, my granchildren.
I have managed for amonth putting things on a credit card, and acting happy around friends, who also wont want to hear my problems. Today I woke up, after crying most of the night, which is what I seem to do every night and know I just cant do this anymore. I' m too tired and hurt and now also totally broke.

Its now time for me to move on.

I realise there is nothing you can say that can help me, I just needed to put this into words as there is no one I can talk to.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Call Lifeline in the immediate future, to talk about this, and make plans to see a counsellor to help you work out the best solution for you. Sometimes people with brain damage can be impetuous and changeable and make hasty and ill thought-through decisions. I wonder what happened for him to suddenly make such negative decisions about you. And if all your money went into buying the flat, you are owed at least that amount, with interest, from the sale of it. You probably need legal advice to clarify what your rights are, and how to protect them. If he plans to stop paying the bond, how does he expect to keep the flat, and if not, where does he expect to live ?
Don't give up --- you are a valuable and significant person in your own right, and it must be possible to find a way through this crisis, with advice and support from others --- and maybe also explore the rest of your family, who may be able to help both with support and mediation

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

3
Our users say:
Posted by: Been there | 2008/09/12

Hi Margie

I have also been there, and agree with " stronginfaith"  that things will get better, I know this is not what you want to hear right now, but please believe me when I say this, three years ago we were so broke that we had to move 4 times within 3 months as people kept putting us out as we could not pay the rent, we had no food, so badly that my husband was admitted to hospital for mulnutrition, we were feeding the kids rice (one of which was one year old) then they stole our only car, and the last straw was the day we got home and our house was empty, as they came to reposes everything to pay for depts we could not afford. This sound very gloomy, and when in this situation it looks like the sun will never shine again, all we did was pray and believe that God would not let us down, and HE never did. today when we look back we can not believe that things were so bad. He looks after the birds in the sky and the lillies in the fields, He loves you and will look after you too!!!

Reply to Been there
Posted by: StrongInFaith | 2008/09/12

Dear Margie,
Though I am very much younger than you I do, to an extent, know what you are going through with regards to finance. I was once also totally broke. But I held on to my faith and prayed alot. I never gave up hope and in the very end when I thought I couldn' t take it any more things started to change for the better. Remember you have Some One above looking out for you. Be strong Margie, hold on, you can do it.

Reply to StrongInFaith
Posted by: Judy | 2008/09/12

Hi Margie,
I read your letter and feel for and with you. I don' t have any answers for you but looking back at my own life (or ' living death'  as I sometimes call it) I know that there is always light somewhere. Hang on to the small pleasures in life - like smelling a flower, listening to a child laugh or even just feeling the sun on your body.
I' ve had unalulterated hell in my life - things that would break most other people - and some nearley broke me, but it didn' t because I was determined to survive! Start with ' baby steps'  ie  the small pleasures in life and the rest will follow. HANG IN THERE!!! YOU WILL SURVIVE!!!!

Reply to Judy

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