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Question
Posted by: Wayne | 2011/04/28

Unable/ Difficult to ejaculate

I am 32 yrs male ive got a problem of not ejaculating during a normal sexual intercouse. Me and my lady have been doing intercourse for over 4 years and ive ejaculated inside her only five times after a long hard battlle when she was on top me and at at the rear only. This is frustrating to our relationship more so we want to have kids now. I sometimes lie to her that i am coming when i know i am not, just to save myself the embarasment. Please help me i want to have a normal sex life with my woman and have kids with her.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

This problem sounds like what we refer to as 'delayed ejaculation'. It may be that you struggle to ejaculate all the time, or maybe it is only difficult when you are with a partner. Whatever the case the problem is often psychological in nature - the problem may relate to difficulty 'letting go', difficulty trusting, a dislike of the 'mess', fear of infection/pregnancy, fear of commitment. These issues need to be addressed in order for you to relax enough to 'give in' to the sensations and enjoy your sexual experience. I would urge you to get professional help. It is of course preferable if both partners attend but you can still get help on your own. Contact the SASHA (South African Sexual Health Association) helpline Tel -0860 100 262 for referral.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

2
Our users say:
Posted by: Seth | 2011/05/06

Hi Wayne,

Thanks for sharing this. I too am suffering from the same dysfunction, but I thought mine was still as a result of the anti-depressant medication that I was on. Almost 2 months later when the side-effects should''ve subsided, I am still experiencing this problem.

My partner and I are great together, but I cannot ejaculate and this is causing some problems in our relationship and he thinks that I am not sexually attracted to him & mdash  which is not the case.

I''m going to try a few things to get myself to feel (psychologically) comfortable with that portion of my being with him, even though I don''t feel it is a problem now.

I just wanted to wish you well, and recommend that you contact SASHA for assistance. Know that my best wishes are with you for a rapid resolution to the problem that you''re facing. Everything of the best for what lies ahead.

Regards
Seth

Reply to Seth
Posted by: Sexologist | 2011/04/29

This problem sounds like what we refer to as 'delayed ejaculation'. It may be that you struggle to ejaculate all the time, or maybe it is only difficult when you are with a partner. Whatever the case the problem is often psychological in nature - the problem may relate to difficulty 'letting go', difficulty trusting, a dislike of the 'mess', fear of infection/pregnancy, fear of commitment. These issues need to be addressed in order for you to relax enough to 'give in' to the sensations and enjoy your sexual experience. I would urge you to get professional help. It is of course preferable if both partners attend but you can still get help on your own. Contact the SASHA (South African Sexual Health Association) helpline Tel -0860 100 262 for referral.

Reply to Sexologist

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