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Posted by: stressed | 2011/02/21

un sure

I always read and give advice on this forum but I never thought I would be asking for advice, well here goes,
I use to have a big problem with distrust issues but I did go for treatment at a physiologist and he did help me plenty, but he did warn me that there will be situations when I will battle with knowing when I can get jealous or when it’ s my insecurities, well this is one of those times and I need advice please
Friday night I went with my wife to supper with 2 men from one of her works suppliers, both were from France, during the night she was very talkative to one of them which was not an issue to me, it became an issue when she kept on touching his arm and leaning towards him (she said she did this because there was loud music and she could not hear him) I lost my cool when she put her hand on his back, in her defence she is a physical person where I’ m not. My question is, is this normal and am I over reacting or do I have reason to worry?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Presumably it was a psychologist you saw, who was helpful ? Physiologists tend to do research in labs, with rates. Which would have been a lot less useful for you.
In the situation you describe, you may well be over-reacting a tad. If she had wanted to seriously flirt with the guys, she wouldnt have done it in front of you, and presumably didn't need to have taken you along at all. She is a more physically expressive person, you say - a nd that sounds like how such a person may have behaved with someone else, male or female, at dinner, especially in a noisy environment.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Romany | 2011/02/22

My opinion is that a spouse should not touch other people or do anything that can be regarded as flirting.
Regardless.
It is not acceptable behaviour, in front of your husband/wife or behind their backs.
It is also very unprofessional in a work set-up.
Pay attention to your spouse in this instance as he/she is the " odd one out" . This will earn you respect.

Reply to Romany
Posted by: LOL | 2011/02/21

Fromage sushi I think your commet is true yet very funny!!

Reply to LOL
Posted by: Fromage sushi | 2011/02/21

It was the french accent - women go mad and weak at the knees when a french man talks.
Still, soon all of our suppliers will be chinese - no woman has ever found the chinese accent sexy. So this will not be a problem in the futue.
Just hang on in there, soon africa will be completely colonised by the chinese.

Reply to Fromage sushi
Posted by: stressed | 2011/02/21

Hi Doc
Sorry I always get the 2 wrong :)

Reply to stressed
Posted by: Anne | 2011/02/21

I suppose the question is, is she always this touchy with other people? Or was her behaviour abnormal. I would not like my husband touching other women, even if the environment is noisy. There are other ways to get a person''s attention

Reply to Anne
Posted by: Anne | 2011/02/21

It sounds to me like she was flirting with him. Right in front of you? Not cool. Physical is one thing, but there is a time and place not so? I would not be happy either in your shoes.

Reply to Anne
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/02/21

Presumably it was a psychologist you saw, who was helpful ? Physiologists tend to do research in labs, with rates. Which would have been a lot less useful for you.
In the situation you describe, you may well be over-reacting a tad. If she had wanted to seriously flirt with the guys, she wouldnt have done it in front of you, and presumably didn't need to have taken you along at all. She is a more physically expressive person, you say - a nd that sounds like how such a person may have behaved with someone else, male or female, at dinner, especially in a noisy environment.

Reply to cybershrink

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