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Question
Posted by: Anon | 2012/01/16

Ugly

Hi Doc,

I need help and hopefully there is some help I can get. I have these feels being very very ugly. This is not just my imagination, from high school people have been calling me names and telling me how ugly I am. I cannot go to a mall without people commenting about my face. Where I used to work I would be passed as not important just because I am ugly, no one wanted to listen to my ideas, everybody just thought I was dumb. Nobody ever invites me to any social parties at work nor does anyone want to be my friend.
I try to lie low so that people do not notice me but they do. Some people will come to me to chat but they actually just want to confirm that I am really a person. To top it off I do not have an " amazing"  personality. I cry about this all the time and although I think I have a tough skin and won''t let myself be depressed, I think that I might be.
How can I handle work and life in general if everything about me boils down to my face.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Some of us are prettier or less pretty than others, but I have really not come across people actually walking up to people at a mall to tell them they look ugly. Maybe the sadder truth is that so many people don't care anything at all about anyone else. SOme kids make unpleasant comments on people's appearance, including their fatness or thinness, but proper parents teach them not to do so.
I actually don't think you are as ugly as you think, or as ugly as you feel ; but I do appreciate that this is sincerely how you feel, and we respond in life to what we think is happening, not to some objective assessment of what might be actually happening.
You could really be helped by seeing a good local psychologist for some CBT oriented psychotherapy / counselling, to deal with your low self-confidence and low self-esteem. You'd be surprised how much difference this could make. Someone who is convinced that they are ugly or unattractive makes themselves less attractive to others, and your tactic of "lay low" may make them less likely to get to know and appreciate you.
Please arrange to see someone for counselling soon, so you can start working towards freeing yourself from this profoundly negative and awful view of yourself, and start discovering for yourself all that is great about you. Then others will be able to notice it, too

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

4
Our users say:
Posted by: Ph | 2012/01/18

@Anon, i want to be your friend.

Reply to Ph
Posted by: Anon | 2012/01/16

I wish it was a joke and yes maybe it sounds ridiculous but that''s how I feel all the time. From what you are saying I can deduce that you have never had to deal with anything even remotely like this.
I might be a freak to some but I believe I am at least still sane.

I just need help...

Reply to Anon
Posted by: Kelly | 2012/01/16

Is this a serious post...
I dont beleive it.
Well not the ugly part but even if you were not good looking people seriously cannot be that horrible... or you must be in another country.

Maybe the ugly is just in your mind...
Most people are not that superficial.

Reply to Kelly
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012/01/16

Some of us are prettier or less pretty than others, but I have really not come across people actually walking up to people at a mall to tell them they look ugly. Maybe the sadder truth is that so many people don't care anything at all about anyone else. SOme kids make unpleasant comments on people's appearance, including their fatness or thinness, but proper parents teach them not to do so.
I actually don't think you are as ugly as you think, or as ugly as you feel ; but I do appreciate that this is sincerely how you feel, and we respond in life to what we think is happening, not to some objective assessment of what might be actually happening.
You could really be helped by seeing a good local psychologist for some CBT oriented psychotherapy / counselling, to deal with your low self-confidence and low self-esteem. You'd be surprised how much difference this could make. Someone who is convinced that they are ugly or unattractive makes themselves less attractive to others, and your tactic of "lay low" may make them less likely to get to know and appreciate you.
Please arrange to see someone for counselling soon, so you can start working towards freeing yourself from this profoundly negative and awful view of yourself, and start discovering for yourself all that is great about you. Then others will be able to notice it, too

Reply to cybershrink

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