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Question
Posted by: Tanya | 2011/07/16

Trying to support him

My boyfriend and I have been dating for about 4 months now. He is going through a tough time, due to problems at work, financial worries etc. I''ve been trying to support him, but the stress has also had an effect on our relationship and we''ve been fighting. I wish that he would turn to me for comfort and support, but instead he is just pushing me away. He says he still loves me and he wants things between us to be back to normal, but he has now told me that he thinks we should just go on a break (put the relationship on hold) because he needs to deal with his issues on his own and in his own time.
I guess if I love him I should give him the time and space he needs. It just hurt because I feel like he''s given up on us and I''m afraid I''ll loose him for good, because this distance between us will only grow bigger the more time we spend apart. I really want to give him what he needs right now, but it''s so hard and I''m hurting so much. How do I deal with this?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

He really doesn't sound ready to have a mature relationship right now, does he ? "Love" seems unlikely when he speaks of it. If you lost him for good, stop assuming that this would automatically be a tragedy - it might be good for both of you. This isn't your ( or his ) only chance for a relationship. Why fo you feel the need to cling onto him to desperately ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/07/17

He really doesn't sound ready to have a mature relationship right now, does he ? "Love" seems unlikely when he speaks of it. If you lost him for good, stop assuming that this would automatically be a tragedy - it might be good for both of you. This isn't your ( or his ) only chance for a relationship. Why fo you feel the need to cling onto him to desperately ?

Reply to cybershrink
Posted by: Realist | 2011/07/16

Do you really want to be saddled with a boo hoo boy ? A guy with some backbone would act as if there is nothing wrong, suck it up and deal with it. This on off relationship is a cop out. I would accept his suggestion to give him space, make it a big space and for a long time. In the meanwhile try to link up with someone who is not needy and who has prospects. Compare him with boo hoo boy and you will see you have made the right decision.

Reply to Realist

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