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Question
Posted by: Lost | 2010/06/12

Trying to meet someone?

Hey,

So what do I actually do? What do women look for in a guy? I go out, get a couple of numbers. But nothing ever continues further than that. Or I usually get the lets be friends crap.

I don''t think i''m an a**hole...least that is my perception. I consider myself reasonably successful. If I look at my immediate friendship group - say about 10 of them, i''m the most qualified and most stable.

I''ve been told i''m funny etc I''m a sarcastic person most of the time and will say make random comments etc... which are funny.

I always try and improve on myself. When I meet a girl, I''m not overly desperate. I wait a couple days before calling. I say my please and thank yous etc. I do all the apparently, right, things.

But they never seem to go right. I just give up. I begin to think it''s me, but I don''t think that it is.

What do I do?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

If there are any readers left not caught up in the FIFA hooha, I hope they can respond usefully. Overall, from your description, you sound like the sort of guy most women say they'd want to meet. Is it possible you're a bit too impatient ?

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: bess | 2010/06/15

yeah, we all want to meet someone good and decent. age also seems to be a problem and where to meet this person. i have no friends, am 42 with 3 children. i am well education have a good job, not too bad looking and a bit overweight which seems to matter. what doesnt matter anymore is what you have to offer the other person eg, being there, being supportive, being a friend etc. why is life so hard sometimes

Reply to bess
Posted by: Anon2 | 2010/06/15

Eishhhhhhhhh, its like you guys are writing the story of my life , i dont go out anymore, cuddle in blankrt and watch lots of movies cause i dont seem to meet a decent/ someone.Its getting to my nerves now that im heading towards 30 wth no kids.

I dont know what to do anymore, i have started to accept gore there is no one out there for me........damn it gets lonely

Reply to Anon2
Posted by: Anon2 | 2010/06/15

Eishhhhhhhhh, its like you guys are writing the story of my life , i dont go out anymore, cuddle in blankrt and watch lots of movies cause i dont seem to meet a decent/ someone.Its getting to my nerves now that im heading towards 30 wth no kids.

I dont know what to do anymore, i have started to accept gore there is no one out there for me........damn it gets lonely

Reply to Anon2
Posted by: hestia | 2010/06/14

Hi Lost
I am a single woman and I know what you are refering too. It is very difficult. Do not give up. I hear you normally meet someone when you are not looking:-) And I also agree with Aa, be carefull when being sarcastic. It does not normally go down well. Remember that woman always look for meaning behind your words. So even if you did not mean anything they will be wondering and maybe misunderstanding what you said.
Another thing, not all woman will exept bad boys in their lives. Maybe that is why I am still single?:-) Just keep doing what you are doing. There is still woman out there that appreciate real gentleman. I am talking for myself, however if a man wait a few days before he calls me I feel like he was not really interested.

Reply to hestia
Posted by: Lost 2 | 2010/06/14

I TOTALLY agree - the dating game is a totally nightmare. For me, being a woman - it''s just as hard. The dating internet sites - also doesn''t help though - Been there, tried that. I also wondered where to look. Maybe you should hang around Pretoria some more....? hehehehe

Reply to Lost 2
Posted by: haha | 2010/06/14

Well, I agree that girls go for the bad boys and it was hard to accept at first BUT I''m the one smiling now.

I liked this girl a lot and she liked a younger guy who eventually beat her up, but she was so involved. She used all her money and other peoples money and now I''m very sad to say she is not worth the time or effort.

She is run down and has even turned into a bad girl herself. Uses and abuses anyone and everyone. IIt shocks me now even thinking about her, what a waste she has become.

Be yourself and the girls will see who and what you are. Some take time to come3 around, but they do. They are asking themselves the question ''WHY DID I NOT GO FOR HIM?''

Chin up and be positive. Also, don''t look to hard.

Reply to haha
Posted by: Lost | 2010/06/14

Hey,

Ugh... the dating game is a nightmare! I dunno what to do. I''ve been going out such a lot... but I just don''t meet anyone. I take pride in how I dress... what I do...what I say, even how I smell!

My belt that I wear even matches my shoes!!! I don''t wear white socks with black pants!

Seriously, what do I do?

Reply to Lost
Posted by: Dee | 2010/06/14

Same here Tayla

Reply to Dee
Posted by: Tayla | 2010/06/14

I wish I knew where to find a man like you. All I ever meet is these same d*cks everyone is talking about.

Reply to Tayla
Posted by: anon | 2010/06/14

Its a tough world out there for singles, and yes, I agree women seem to like the bad boys, us decent okes always get overlooked because we are boring and stable, BUT...bad boys always loose out at at end and the woman involved with them comes off second best. Ive had that happen twice to me, before where Ive become involved with a woman who was ''abused'' by a bad boy, these guys create the initial excitement and thrills on their motorbikes and fast cars and weird lifestyles, but then it wears off but its too late for the woman, she is involved too deeply or has children with these pr..cks. Now she is stuck.

My wife was involved with an idiot like this, had two kids with him , then his lifestyle lead him to drugs, he became an addict then off''d himself...my wife lived with that for 15 years, so yes, bad boys never win in the end, it just takes us decent guys a bit longer to get the decent women.

Take heart and be patient, it will all work out well for you in the end.

Reply to anon
Posted by: aaa | 2010/06/14

Hi Lost

Most women don''t enjoy sarcastic men, so watch the comments, you may see it as funny but they don''t

Reply to aaa
Posted by: DW | 2010/06/14

Hi Lost, I am in exactly the same boat as you. Also stable, friendly, treat people with respect etc (damn, when I read what you wrote it sounded like me writing there). I am also starting to think that I should start treating women bably, beacuse that is the way it seems to work. I know of a few guys that can''t keep jobs, sponge off women, treat them with no repsect, yet they always have someone.

Whats also worse now is that I am also the only single idiot when at braais and functions, and I just don''t like going out anymore. I have started giving up, but at the same time I don''t want to.

I hope you don''t get stuck like me, and end up in your thirties all alone. Good luck.

Reply to DW
Posted by: Me | 2010/06/12

Hey Lost I am female and feel exactly the way you do. I even sometimes give up on finding love but that is not an option. You sound like the perfect guy for any woman, so don''t give up. Stay the person you are and one day it will pay off. Explore those friendship, they might turn into something good. Some people prefer the lets be friends route for a reason. I know that is the case with me as I don''t want to be hurt. Who knows maybe they have the same problem and you look too good to be true. Dont give up and please stay the person you are.

Reply to Me
Posted by: Lost | 2010/06/12

Hey,

I''m not impatient and I am at ease! I just get despondent now! It''s so tough out there! I do all the right things, but it''s still not good enough!

Maybe I should just become a d**k ''cos those that are d**ks seem to be getting it right. I should just start treating these woman that I meet badly. Talk to them badly, don''t do what they want to do etc. I heard that that''s the way to go about it...

Reply to Lost
Posted by: Lin | 2010/06/12

So just be friends. The most wonderful relationships develop out of friendship. And who knows? You can be friends with her and then meet her other girlfriends and they see what a wonderful person you are, and then...
Don''t look so hard. Enjoy your life and go out with all these friends. A guy is very attractive to another girl if she sees him at ease in other girls'' company.
Be yourself and good luck!

Reply to Lin
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/06/12

If there are any readers left not caught up in the FIFA hooha, I hope they can respond usefully. Overall, from your description, you sound like the sort of guy most women say they'd want to meet. Is it possible you're a bit too impatient ?

Reply to cybershrink

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