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Posted by: Wesley | 2011/08/19

Trust issues concerning a good friend and my girl

Hi doc. ive being subjected to thoughts running through my head concerning the fact that everytime my friend comes over and visits, he flirts with my girlfriend like in tickels her every so often and picks her up an swings her around etc. and the reaction i see comin from my girl is not what i would expect(it is as if she likes the attention and reacts back as to tickling him etc) i feel as if im a bit jealous and is it wrong of me to think like this?. its soemwhat playing on my mind. also she also so often asks how he is for eg also. what in your appinion should i do about this and cause i feel if i subject myself to confronting her or him about it that there will be anger or fustration forced back to me? he is my best friend and i just want to be so careful as i have being hurt before. PLEASE I NEED ADVICE????

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Don't blame lee for feeling that it sounds like youre all either awfully young or awfully immature ! Tickling isn't a major adult hobby. Whatever the ages, though, your friend is not behaving appropriately.
Its not WRONG to feel jealous in some situations, though it may be an inaccurate or excessive response to many situations. Why not first calmly discuss your concerns with her, and then with him, so you can all understand better whatever may be going on ?
Nobody needs to wear your shoes to notice that you may be walking in the wrong direction.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Joe shmoe | 2011/08/20

With friends like those, who needs enemies? Drop them both. If she can''t give you the respect you deserve as her b/f and if your friend can''t respect you and your relationship with your g/f it''s time to kick them both to the curb.

Do they have each others numbers? I suppose so.

Kick ''em to the curb.

Reply to Joe shmoe
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/08/20

Don't blame lee for feeling that it sounds like youre all either awfully young or awfully immature ! Tickling isn't a major adult hobby. Whatever the ages, though, your friend is not behaving appropriately.
Its not WRONG to feel jealous in some situations, though it may be an inaccurate or excessive response to many situations. Why not first calmly discuss your concerns with her, and then with him, so you can all understand better whatever may be going on ?
Nobody needs to wear your shoes to notice that you may be walking in the wrong direction.

Reply to cybershrink
Posted by: Obvious | 2011/08/19

Lee has a point, please do not attack him because you dont like his suggestions. Your inability to confront the issue and your reaction to advice given here does show a lack of maturity.
If l was your girl friend, who u disrespectfully refer 2 as a chick, l may well be casting my eye around for a grown up partner!

Reply to Obvious
Posted by: Anne | 2011/08/19

You are not being unreasonable. But, you will have to bite the bullet and just do it. Try not to be hostile or angry or overly agressive when you talk to her, just say, it bugs you. There is no easy way i am afraid and trying to beat around the bush is not going to get you anywhere. The direct approach is often the best one.

Good luck

Reply to Anne
Posted by: Wesley | 2011/08/19

Look ok i am not open with suggestions coming from you lee. this site isnt for people like you coming in and giving harsh judgements. LEIGH - Im a guy and its my chick that i am bit untrustworthy with when coming to my best mate coming over now and again. lee i dont know how to confront her or how to start the conversation? Some people say i''m jealous because im feeling this way but what if i''m right and i''m not being unreasanable about this whole ordeal.

Reply to Wesley
Posted by: Lee | 2011/08/19

What is so wrong with what Anne and I are suggesting? We both said you should raise the issue with her/them. You are supposed to be mature so act it. What has it got to do with me being in your shoes? I wouls address the issues with the people causing my discomfort. What dont you get? Both Wesley and H. And H, if you cant make intelligent comments or suggestions be quiet. Swearing is the recourse of the dim-witted. Understand what I''m saying?

Reply to Lee
Posted by: Wesley | 2011/08/19

I''m 24 ok and shes 20 an yes what if it was you in my shoes

Reply to Wesley
Posted by: Anne | 2011/08/19

Your Bf is behaving most inappropriately, whether he is 15 or 50. So is your friend and you are right to be wary.

Why not speak first to your friend, and tell her how uncomfortable it makes you feel that she flirts back. Then to your bf as well. If they care for you, they will understand and respect your feelings. If they get defensive or try and make you out as insecure etc, then, I would dump them both.

Reply to Anne
Posted by: H | 2011/08/19

Lee, jy is ''n D.O.O.S

I suppose you will act differently if this was happening to you.

Reply to H
Posted by: Lee | 2011/08/19

How old are you all? 14, 15 ?
Mmmmmm..... One has to wonder what will happen if he comes around and picks her up and swings her around and tickles her tummy and she laughs and tickles him back when you''re not home one day.
Speak to her. If she gets angry or defensive then .....

Reply to Lee

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