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Question
Posted by: Female | 2011/03/17

Trust issues?

Hi CS

Hope this post finds you well.

What are your thoughts on this one!

I’ ve always been a very private person I do have some good close friends a husband and a few family members that I am in contact with but I am not a person to share my inner most feelings with anyone, when I do feel like talking/venting about something like if something someone did or said is bothering me I will never share it with anyone, do you think this is wrong??

I have been hurt/burned by many in my past and I feel this is the reason I am like this I would say I find it really hard to trust people, I also never grew up in a loving home so that might have added to my insecurity about trusting people, In your opinion is it vital to share personal thoughts/feeling with others or is it okay for me to just go on and speak to myself like I usually do if something is bothering me?

Others opinions on this will also be appreciated.

P.S. I am 30 years old

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

What can I say ? Tolerably well, I suppose. But it's you that's important now.
Some of us are as you describe yourself, and just don't like sharing much with others. That's just the way some of us are, it's not wrong to be like that.
If you've been hurt by others in the past, especially if this involved them somehow taking advantage of your opening to them, then your reluctance is understandable. It might not always be useful for you, and counselling might help you to get this into perspective, to be better able to decide who is worthy of trusting, and when, and when not.
But it is far from vital or essential for you to share our inner felings with anyone ( other than adoc or shrink when needed ) - its an American fashion to "share". Personally, I appreciate some splendid people who choose not to chare - that's their privilege.
Talk it out with yourself, if that works for you. I find that cats and dogs are also excellent listeners, always sympathetic, and rarely interrupt you !

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5
Our users say:
Posted by: Female | 2011/03/18

Thank you, thought I was alone too, it is better to just keep certain things to oneself then...

Reply to Female
Posted by: OH MY | 2011/03/18

SAME HERE.thought i was alone

Reply to OH MY
Posted by: Leah | 2011/03/18

Hi there - I echo what Romany says. In my experience, its better NOT to share with people around you... even when you believe you are telling someone something in " confidence"  and swear them to secrecy, it somehow finds its way to dinner party discussions. I dont trust either, but have found that speaking to a psychologist now and again really helps.

Good luck

Reply to Leah
Posted by: Romany | 2011/03/18

When I read your post it felt like I actually wrote it. You are telling my story here.

No need to share. I have learned the less other people know about me the less they can hurt me...and that includes " friends" . Best friends can make worst enemies.

Reply to Romany
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/03/17

What can I say ? Tolerably well, I suppose. But it's you that's important now.
Some of us are as you describe yourself, and just don't like sharing much with others. That's just the way some of us are, it's not wrong to be like that.
If you've been hurt by others in the past, especially if this involved them somehow taking advantage of your opening to them, then your reluctance is understandable. It might not always be useful for you, and counselling might help you to get this into perspective, to be better able to decide who is worthy of trusting, and when, and when not.
But it is far from vital or essential for you to share our inner felings with anyone ( other than adoc or shrink when needed ) - its an American fashion to "share". Personally, I appreciate some splendid people who choose not to chare - that's their privilege.
Talk it out with yourself, if that works for you. I find that cats and dogs are also excellent listeners, always sympathetic, and rarely interrupt you !

Reply to cybershrink

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