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Question
Posted by: Wonder | 2010/06/07

Trust issue after porn

I have caught my husband looking at porn on his computer a couple of weeks ago. He denied it and said he was looking for something to buy me. I do not believe him and have the feeling that this was not the first time. It is not an issue in my life, but the problem to me is that our sex life is very average, sometimes only once a month. I told him I do not have a problem as long as I get the benefit. Latelly, it actually does bother me as I have the feeling that I do not trust him. He is always very outspoken against guys going to strip clubs, porn etc. Does he say one thing and do the opposite? I am actually very open minded about these things, a lot more than what I believe he was. Please give me your opinion.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

Indulging in some porn now and than is not a big problem and many men and women do so. some couples even watch soft porn together as an aphrodisiac. However if your husbands indulgence is starting to affect yourl's sex life or is of such an extent that he is lying about it (despite your open mindedness), than i suggest you consider confronting him again. let him know what you suspect, your reasons for your suspicion and his reasons for watchin porn( fantasy/addiction/unsatisfied etc). if you are unable to confront him directly, consider speaking to a couple's therapist or counsellor. it is evident that ths is causing you significant distress which is why i would advise you to address it as soon as possible before it goes out of hand.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Oldster | 2010/06/07

Absolutely nothing wrong with porn Your use of the word " caught"  your hubby checking out porn, says it all. He feels like a nerd having been found out. I think his denial concerning strip clubs etc is just a cover up for what he enjoys. I agree with the consensus of those replying to your query. Tell him you are all for the porn but that you would like to view it with him. I am sure it will revive your minimum sexual contact and add spice for sure. As I have said before, guys are turned on with the visual aspects of sex and maybe you have been too modest and have not given him the visuals he requires. Have a heart to heart and find out what makes him tick, tell him what you like as well, like more regular sex for example. I am sure you will sort this out between you. Good luck.

Reply to Oldster
Posted by: Oldster | 2010/06/07

Absolutely nothing wrong with porn Your use of the word " caught"  your hubby checking out porn, says it all. He feels like a nerd having been found out. I think his denial concerning strip clubs etc is just a cover up for what he enjoys. I agree with the consensus of those replying to your query. Tell him you are all for the porn but that you would like to view it with him. I am sure it will revive your minimum sexual contact and add spice for sure. As I have said before, guys are turned on with the visual aspects of sex and maybe you have been too modest and have not given him the visuals he requires. Have a heart to heart and find out what makes him tick, tell him what you like as well, like more regular sex for example. I am sure you will sort this out between you. Good luck.

Reply to Oldster
Posted by: Zoolander | 2010/06/07

Maybe he''s embarrassed...!
If you both open to it Bozo is correct...
Get some and watch it together...

Reply to Zoolander
Posted by: Bozo | 2010/06/07

Look there is nothing against watching porn, and by your own admit, you are open to the idea.
Maybe get him to admit it, and suggest the idea that the two of you watch it together and see if you can use it to enhance your sex life and the frequentcy of your sex life.

Once a month is a bit on the min side to have sex.

Good luck

Reply to Bozo

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