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Question
Posted by: Faye | 2011-02-07

Troubled marriage

Hi, I hope you can give me advice. I have been married 18 years, with three kids. my husband cheated on me 12 years ago, when i was pregnant with my second daughter.

Needless to say, I was enraged felt betrayed and grossly dissapointed and hurt. I love my kids to bits, and even though my husband has not cheated again, I dont trust him and secretly resent him.

I have been to counselling, spoke to husband and screamed at him many times, to get rid of the grudge. I cannot seem to let go. I dont trust anything he says or does, and to make matters worse, he is a person who has a disease to please outsiders, is never available when the kids or i need him, and manages to provide legitimate excuses every time.

When i bring up divorce he cries and is devastated saying he is working hard for us, etc.

I dont know what to do, I dont have parents as they died and no other family to assist me. I am financially self sufficient, however, fear to leave and live in the unknown. Without a supporting structure of family, this is a frightening prospect, yet I am no longer happy to play second fiddle to my husband. Any ideas or suggestions?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Sorry to hear that your counsellor has apparently not managed to enable you to set yourself free from these bonds of bitterness you have constructed, which seem to be causing more damage and misery than the original cheating.
Find a more experienced therapist, preferably one using CBT, and get to grips with the extent to which you have been building your own problems since the unfortunate earlier episode

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

2
Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011-02-08

Sorry to hear that your counsellor has apparently not managed to enable you to set yourself free from these bonds of bitterness you have constructed, which seem to be causing more damage and misery than the original cheating.
Find a more experienced therapist, preferably one using CBT, and get to grips with the extent to which you have been building your own problems since the unfortunate earlier episode

Reply to cybershrink
Posted by: Obvious | 2011-02-07

Therapy- individual and couples?

Reply to Obvious

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