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Question
Posted by: Stacy | 2012/06/20

Troubled

Hi Doc,

At the beginning of the year my husband was diagnosed with a heart condtion. This has placed me under immense strain, we have a one year old LG. His family constantly tell me that I now have to be strong as I have bigger responsiblities now. I feel as if I am barely coping with daily life, I don''t let my husband do anything to strain himself. Yet NO-ONE even bothers about me. I feel as if I am close to having a nervous breakdown. I really cant handle the stress anymore. Initially i thought I would take each day as it comes but I am not coping anymore. I dont want my husband''s family to help out, becasue they expect to come to our rescue whenever there is a crisis, they take over my home, tell me how to raise my child, etc.

I am so tired of it all.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Sometimes, not being allowed to do :"anything" can in itself become a strain. Maybe check with the cardiologist about what is and isn't OK for him to do. Being made to feel redundant and no longer significant due to illness can be most unpleasant, just as it is unpleasant to suddenly have to take up many extra responsibilities.
As Liza says, let the family help out to give you a break now and then, maybe best for specifically planned periods, rather than entirely open-ended.

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2
Our users say:
Posted by: Liza | 2012/06/20

All you need is some rest and relaxation. Let the family come to the rescue and take over your home and raise your child for a few days - while you leave them to it and go away for a couple of days. Even if it''s only for a weekend. It needn''t be an expensive trip to somewhere far away - I know of some great low cost options - it should just be relaxing without all the responsibility. If you really can''t afford anything else, do you perhaps have a family member you can visit? Someone who''d be sympathetic to being you being overstressed and be willing to let you unwind at their place?

Even your in-laws have to admit that everyone needs a break sometime and rather in controlled circumstances like a planned holiday that having an unplanned breakdown and needing to be hospitalised.

Good Luck
Liza

Reply to Liza
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012/06/20

Sometimes, not being allowed to do :"anything" can in itself become a strain. Maybe check with the cardiologist about what is and isn't OK for him to do. Being made to feel redundant and no longer significant due to illness can be most unpleasant, just as it is unpleasant to suddenly have to take up many extra responsibilities.
As Liza says, let the family help out to give you a break now and then, maybe best for specifically planned periods, rather than entirely open-ended.

Reply to cybershrink

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