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Question
Posted by: palesa tsotetsi | 2011/02/19

troubled

hi my name is palesa tsotetsi im in a life crisis i have been seeing a some guy for 4 months now and this guy is my uncle''s friend and he doesnt know that we dating the thing is this guy has a girlfriend and a child i want to let him go but i cant i think i love him and evrytime i try break up with him he refuses and threatens to do other things i have broken up with him many times but i always go back or he threatens me...whta do you suggest i do cause i love him but i do noit want him anymore

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageBehaviour modification

Hi Palesa
It worries me that you are "in love" with someone who threatens you, which clearly means that he does not love you in the way you love him and probably never will. You need to ask yourself two things - 1: Do I love him or do I love the idea of him? Love is based on mutual trust. 2: What is the worst that can happen if you leave him? A person will threaten you if you act like a victim or if you have something to lose. The first thing I suggest you do is tell your uncle. Lay your cards on the table, tell him you made a mistake but you are trapped and you want to get out of the situation. There is nothing like honesty to free your conscience. This person is less likely to threaten you if you have nothing to hide. Good luck!

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Our users say:
Posted by: Behaviour modification | 2011/02/24

Hi Palesa
It worries me that you are "in love" with someone who threatens you, which clearly means that he does not love you in the way you love him and probably never will. You need to ask yourself two things - 1: Do I love him or do I love the idea of him? Love is based on mutual trust. 2: What is the worst that can happen if you leave him? A person will threaten you if you act like a victim or if you have something to lose. The first thing I suggest you do is tell your uncle. Lay your cards on the table, tell him you made a mistake but you are trapped and you want to get out of the situation. There is nothing like honesty to free your conscience. This person is less likely to threaten you if you have nothing to hide. Good luck!

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