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Question
Posted by: Elizabeth | 2011/07/26

trouble-maker

What would make a 25 year old tell untrue stories about his father to other family members? This is my grandson that has caused trouble in the family by going to uncles and grandparents and telling stories that his father is an alcoholic, that he snorts cocaine, that he hits the mother. I have spoken to him about it and he says that he can see it because he himself is on drugs and so when he sees signs in his father then he knows he is taking drugs. Of course there could be an element of truth in some of his stories because I think his father does drink too much but much of what the youngster tells seems to be highly exaggerated and why should be going telling family about it?. I also tackled him about the fact that he says he is taking drugs and he says " only weed which is nothing" . He says some years ago he did try cocaine but then stopped when he was having palpitations. It''s hard to know what to believe.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

There are of course many possible reasons for such behaviour. For an admitted drug user to defame someone else based on "signs" he thinks he has noticed is obviously unfair. And parents who drink too much ( excusing their own use of their drug of choice ) can hardly expect their children not to indulge in the different drugs THEY may choose. What does his mother think ? Does she indicate that any of his complaints about his father could be true ?
Its hard to believe that anyone finds the kid believable, as his own drug use invalidates his claim to be believable. And of course Weed is never "nothing". In people who are susceptable ( and you rarely know so until you are a heavy user ) it may precipitate psychotic illness, and it is simply not good for your brain. And as it is even dirtier chemically than tobacco, its even more damaging to your lungs as cigarettes.
Maybe he needs to remember the old folk saying in most cultures, and notable in the Bible, about attending tou your own problems before interfering in someone elses.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Elizabeth | 2011/07/30

I have found out what is causing this behaviour. It''s not a very pretty picture. This 25 year old is renting accommodation with his GF. They have got into arrears with their rent and will probably be evicted. He has been canvassing family members with trumped up stories in order to get his father committed so that he and his GF can than take over the father''s house. (His father lives alone.) Worse than this, he has a key to his father''s house and has been going there when he knows his father is not there, stealing groceries and removing items and selling them. To steal from one''s own father is a heinous thing but he is also besmirching his father''s good name claiming that he is an alcoholic and a drug addict.

Reply to Elizabeth
Posted by: Laurei | 2011/07/27

Weed is very destructive when used regulalry and in large quantities. My stepfather used it and smoked it for years, and he changed from a logical to an illogical male, had his own ideas of reality and got his kicks out of life by making trouble for everyone and causing disharmony and unhappiness. Years laer and even though he is now dead, his sons still go for counselling to get over the trauma they had been put through for so many years, so if you can find a way to put a stop to the weed and any other drugs, do so urgently.

Reply to Laurei
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/07/27

There are of course many possible reasons for such behaviour. For an admitted drug user to defame someone else based on "signs" he thinks he has noticed is obviously unfair. And parents who drink too much ( excusing their own use of their drug of choice ) can hardly expect their children not to indulge in the different drugs THEY may choose. What does his mother think ? Does she indicate that any of his complaints about his father could be true ?
Its hard to believe that anyone finds the kid believable, as his own drug use invalidates his claim to be believable. And of course Weed is never "nothing". In people who are susceptable ( and you rarely know so until you are a heavy user ) it may precipitate psychotic illness, and it is simply not good for your brain. And as it is even dirtier chemically than tobacco, its even more damaging to your lungs as cigarettes.
Maybe he needs to remember the old folk saying in most cultures, and notable in the Bible, about attending tou your own problems before interfering in someone elses.

Reply to cybershrink
Posted by: Another view point | 2011/07/26

Maybe he sees it as asking for help?

Reply to Another view point

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